"HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT?"
Why does everyone seem like they have heaps of friends and they're always getting coffee together how can I be a part of that dream
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white), drop your question here, and we might just answer it!
Bel - I need your help! I need some more friends. I need new people who think I’m cool and interesting enough to text back and make plans with.
It’s recently dawned on me that I’m not 19 anymore. I guess this means I’m an adult (or on my way), and I’ve found it so much harder to find people I can really connect with, let alone want to spend my spare time with. How do I find people who don’t suck to like me and that I like back? Any tips?
Dear friendzone,
(Lukewarm take) Aging is so weird.
On the one hand, I’m like, hurl me closer every waking moment to a time where I can be wiser, give less of a fuck about what anyone thinks, and arrive and some sort of zenith of socialisation where I exclusively hang out amongst great people with the exception of minor interactions with strangers who are either funny or weird but not at all annoying.
On the other, I’m like, ugh, take me back to the halcyon days of endless nights eating cheap nachos in the flats I shared with friends and the feeling of being on some form of (good or bad) constant adventure.
We can’t get more good in our lives without letting go of old things, and in order to do that, we have to get a bit vulnrey (vulnerable, lol) and put ourselves on the line a bit.
Ugh, but how? Some tips: