a non-exhaustive round-up of trump's insane behaviour lately
January 6 was not a “day of love.” Donald Trump is not the “father of IVF.” And Haitian people are not eating the neighbourhood cats and dogs.
Before we get into it, I just wanted to let you know that I’m currently running a 50% off sale for anyone wanting to get all our free goodies or simply support the media they love. I’m running this because the cost of living crisis is kicking all our asses, and I want as many of you to have access to all our cute bonuses as possible. Love you! Luce xxxx
January 6 was not a “day of love.” Donald Trump is not the “father of IVF.” And Haitian people are not eating the neighbourhood cats and dogs.
It may seem insane to you that I even need to clarify that these three statements are untrue, but based on the past month or so of derangement from the Trump camp, it felt like it was time for me to do a big old Trump dump.
To save me from wasting so much time on this stupid idiot in our daily newsletter, I’ve made this list (which I will endeavour to keep updating) of the most insane shit Trump’s been doing.
Similar to Trump’s brain, there is no rhyme, reason or rationality behind the order of these moments, and while I would love to say ‘enjoy!’, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for what you’re about to read. “Good luck,” may be more fitting xxx
A non-exhaustive round-up of Trump's insane behaviour lately
He said he was ‘amazed’ that Harvey Weinstein (serial sexual abuser, but according to Trump ‘King of the Woke’) got ‘schlonged’
A lot to unpack in that headline, but here’s the schlong and short of it: in a recent interview on The Dan Bongino Show, Trump said this (unprompted):
“I was so amazed that Harvey Weinstein got schlonged. He got hit as hard as you can get hit. Because he was sort of the king of the woke, right? And yet he got it. And I figured that maybe he wouldn’t get hit so hard.”
First of all, describing a man who is literally imprisoned on rape charges as ‘King of the Woke’ is insane. Secondly, his choice of wording? Schlonged? If you’re yelling at your screen right now that it’s not the word he thinks it is, he knows. He just refuses to believe it. Here’s what he tweeted last time he got called out for his use of the word:
And, if you’re interested in his use of this word over time, here’s a linguistic investigation the Washington Post did eight years ago on him and his love for Schlong.
“Jill… Get That Fat Pig Off The Couch”
Kamala telling her supporters to vote:
“Your vote is your voice, and your voice is your power!”
Trump telling his supporters to vote:
“Tell them, 'Jill. Get your fat husband off the couch. Get that—get that fat pig off the couch. Tell him to go and vote for Trump. He's going to save our country.'
"Get him up, Jill. Slap him around. Get him up! Get him up, Jill. We want him off the couch to get out and vote."
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He did a fake shift at McDonalds in an attempt to troll Kamala
So Kamala Harris used to work at Maccas, a detail that was revealed during her first campaign for president but is by no means the most important thing about her. Unless of course, you ask Donald Trump, who's dedicated quite a bit of time to ‘debunking’ what he thinks is a false claim. So, in his strange attempt at a dig, he ‘worked’ a shift at Maccas. Except he didn’t work there. He closed it for a photo op:
I reckon he did it all for this quote: “Now I have worked at McDonald’s. I’ve now worked for 15 minutes more than Kamala. She never worked here.”
Trump called January 6th “a day of love.”
At a town hall event in Miami, Trump was challenged by a man who said he was disturbed by what happened after Trump lost the 2020 election.
Here’s what the voter asked:
"I want to give you the opportunity to try to win back my vote. OK?" said the voter. "Your — I'm going to say — action and maybe inaction during your presidency, and the last few years, sort of, was a little disturbing to me. What happened Jan. 6 and the fact that, you know, you waited so long to take action while your supporters were attacking the Capitol. ... I'm curious how people so close to you and your administration no longer want to support you, so why would I want to support you? If you would answer these questions for me I would really appreciate it, and give you the opportunity. You know, your own vice president doesn't want to support you now."
Here’s how Trump replied:
"Nothing done wrong at all," Trump said.
“There were no guns down there. We didn’t have guns. The others had guns, but we didn’t have guns.”
"And when I say we, these are people that walked down—this was a tiny percentage of the overall, which nobody sees and nobody, nobody shows.”
“But that was a day of love."
Trump danced (and I’m using that term generously) for 30+ minutes at one of his rallies
At what The Guardian described hilariously as an “ad hoc music fest in the Pennsylvania suburb of Oaks,“ Trump decided to stop answering questions (after a few medical events occurred in the audience) and instead stand on stage and sway to his personal playlist for over 30 minutes.
“Let’s not do any more questions. Let’s just listen to music. Let’s make it into a music. Who the hell wants to hear questions, right?” he said.
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I did take it upon myself to note down all the songs he played from his OWN PERSONAL PLAYLIST, in case you wanted to host your own weird silent town hall music fest:
“God Bless America”
“Ave Maria”
“Time to Say Goodbye”
“YMCA!”
“Hallelujah”
“Nothing Compares 2 U”
“An American Trilogy”
“Rich Men North of Richmond”
“November Rain”
“Memory”
And lastly, he got flamed by Kamala:
He told a six-year-old boy that “if we go for Kamala, we won’t have cows anymore”
This one is just as insane as it sounds. A six-year-old boy from Massachusetts asked Trump what his favourite animal was on ‘Fox and Friends,’ and Trump answered with this:
“Well, I’ll tell you what I love,” said Trump. “I love cows!”
“But if we go with Kamala,” he continued, mispronouncing the vice president’s name, “you won’t have any cows anymore, because we’re not allowed to — I don’t want to ruin this kid’s day. I love cows. I think they are so cute and so beautiful and so — according to Kamala, who is a radical left lunatic, you will not have any cows anymore. So we have to vote her out.”
Poor kid.
He won’t shut up about Hannibal Lecter
For some reason, whenever Trump starts talking about migrants, he consistently ends up talking about Dr. Hannibal Lecter (yes, the fictional cannibalistic serial killer featured in thriller novels and numerous film and TV adaptations, including The Silence of the Lambs.) I can’t possibly list the number of times he’s brought up Lecter, but lately, he’s really ramped it up lately. In his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, he said:
“You know, the press is always on me because I say this,” Trump began. “Has anyone seen Silence of the Lambs? The late great Hannibal Lecter. He’d love to have you for dinner. That’s insane asylums, they’re emptying out their insane asylums.”
And then, not long after that, in a rally in North Carolina, when speaking about immigrants, he again, said:
“They’re coming from everywhere. They’re coming from all over the world, from prisons and jails, and mental institutions and insane asylums. You know, they go crazy when I say, ‘The late great Hannibal Lecter,’ OK? They say, ‘Why would he mention Hannibal Lecter? He must be cognitively in trouble.’ No no no, these are real stories. Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lamb [sic]. He’s a lovely man. He’d love to have you for dinner.”
And at a rally in New Jersey, he said:
“Silence of the Lamb! Has anyone ever seen the Silence of the Lambs? The late, great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? Excuse me, I’m about to have a friend for dinner as this poor doctor walked by. I’m about to have a friend for dinner. But Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations. The late, great Hannibal Lecter. We have people that are being released into our country that we don’t want in our country.”
I promise I’m not being lazy by leaving you incredibly confused about why he keeps bringing up Hannibal Lecter, but I promise, somehow it makes LESS sense when I try to give it context.
If you want to try and piece it together yourself, here’s an entire timeline of his love affair with the fictional character.
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Trump says he’s the "‘father of IVF’’
Yep, you heard me right. During a Fox News town hall, Trump claimed he was "the father of IVF,” while at the same time admitting that he didn’t actually know how the procedure worked.
He was asked a question by a mother of three who has friends who are "very concerned” that the abortion bans will affect their ability to access IVF and other fertility treatments. To that, he said:
"Oh, I want to talk about IVF. I’m the father of IVF, so I want to hear this question."
He started his answer like this:
"So I got a call from Katie Britt, a young, just a fantastically attractive person from Alabama. She’s a senator, and she called me up like 'emergency, emergency' because an Alabama judge had ruled that the IVF clinics were illegal and they have to be closed down. A judge ruled, and she said, friends of mine came up to me and they were, oh, they were so angry. I didn’t even know they were going, you know, she, they were, it’s fertilization. I didn’t know they were even involved in — nobody talks about, they don’t talk about it," Trump's answer began.
Before we continue, no, that doesn’t make sense. Anyway, he said he asked Britt for more information:
"And I said, explain IVF, very IVF, very quickly. And within about two minutes, I understood it," Trump said, adding that he told Britt, "We're totally in favor of IVF."
"I came out with a statement within an hour, a really powerful statement with some experts, really powerful. And we went totally in favor, the Republican Party, the whole party. Alabama Legislature a day later overturned, meaning approved it. Overturned," he said.
This doesn’t at all sound like a delusional dude with a hero complex who in the same breath wants to strip women of the right to make decisions about their own bodies, right?
Trump talked about late golfer Arnold Palmer’s ‘manhood’
While campaigning in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, Trump spent like 10 minutes talking about Arnold Palmer (context: the rally was at the local airport named in Palmer's honour.)
"He was an incredible man, he was an incredible champion, and he came from Latrobe.”
Normal I guess. But then he continued:
"This is a guy that was all man.”"
This man was strong and tough, and I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, 'Oh my God, that's unbelievable.’”
"I had to say it."
And of course, when he said that illegal immigrants from Haiti were “eating the dogs and cats” in Springfield
So most of us by now have seen that clip of Trump saying: "In Springfield, they are eating the dogs. The people that came in, they are eating the cats. They’re eating – they are eating the pets of the people that live there."
It’s here if you missed it:
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I will never forgive him for saying this. Not just for how xenophobic, racist, and baseless it is, but because it has spawned a song that my dad (Normy) has not been able to get out of his head for weeks:
Ok so that’s all for now (actually I’m sure it’s probably not, but it’s all I can take.) I’ll keep updating this as the weirdness ensures, but until then, if you would like to compensate me for the sheer amount of time I had to spend in this man’s insanity, please consider becoming a paid supporter xxxx
Yet nothing as insane as hiding a very sick, unfit president for 3 years.
This is amazing! Love your work!