An Ode To Crosswords
Mōrena lil shits!!
I think Mondays are my favourite day to write this thing, because they’re the day that the newsy feels most like a diary!! I had a dreamy weekend.- my bestie was in town to celebrate her birthday, so naturally, many celebrations were in order, including a lovely big homemade brunch (how good is hot cross bun szn?)
Side note: did you know that there was a time in England when hot cross buns were banned???
“Traditionally eaten on Good Friday to commemorate the Crucifixion, hot cross buns found an enemy in Elizabeth I, who, in 1592, finding too much Popery in their popularity, banned their consumption except on specific holidays. The embargo was eventually lifted and, by the 1700s, sweet, spicy, fruity buns were sold on the streets of towns and cities with the familiar cry of ‘one a penny, two a penny’ (a penny bought you a large bun or two small ones).”
Anyway, back to the weekend. My flat's latest obsession is bubble tea, so there was a lot of that consumed, my flattie Hayden cooked up some mussels for us at one point, I also put fuel in my car (🙃🙃🙃) and after seeing how much that cost me I got my pal to come to my house and fix the brakes on my e-bike because I can NOT AFFORD to be driving around all William Nilliam these days.
Context:
We had a lil party for our bday bestie which was bliss, and on the way home me and my friend re-discovered the Shrek soundtrack which honestly (and this is not a hot take) is REALLY fucking good. ‘Accidentally in Love’ hits different when you’re drunk and on the way home from a party, I’ll tell you that much.
On Sunday I was… hungover. I literally did a little bit of work, watched the latest episode of The Dropout (so good), tried to catch up on the magazines that had arrived for me that week, did some beading - but I’m not gonna lie, it was kind of a write-off… Also, I just realised that I haven’t gone & touched grass for a while, so I must get on to that again so I can continue giving you all photos on here of my adventures!
PS! I get so many messages from you all when I write about my weekends saying that you love reading about them, or that you can’t believe how busy I am/ how fun they sound, and I just wanna remind you that this is a few sentences that cross 2-3 days!! SO much of this time is spent doing washing, sitting in my bedroom, cleaning the kitchen or bathroom, going to the supermarket, trying to figure out how to keep myself occupied… this is truly just a highlight reel and I promise that it’s not as glamorous as it may sound (if it even sounds it??) THERE IS SO MUCH OF THE WEEKEND THAT IS SIMPLY SPEND JUST ✨ LAYING IN MY BED ✨
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In today’s newsletter:
Have you heard of the Romance Gap?
An ode to crosswords
The White House is briefing TikTok stars about the war in Ukraine
What happens to crypto after you die?
Grimes and Chelsea Manning’s Random Reported Relationship Leaked
Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
Have I mentioned to you all that I love crosswords?
Content warning: Eating disorders, grief
This weekend during my usual hungover ‘catch-up-on-all-the-magazines-I’m-subscribed-to-and-never-get-to-read’ time, I read a wonderful piece in The New Yorker called “Escaping Into the Crossword Puzzle,” which details Anna Shechtman’s relationship between crosswords and her anorexia.
“I began writing crosswords when I was fourteen, which is also when I began starving myself. The connection between these impulses felt intuitive: they both stemmed from a desire to control my image and to nurture a fledgling sense of self. I read in a health-class textbook that high-achieving, affluent young white women were the population most likely to succumb to anorexia. I found in the common identifiers of the disease—extreme thinness, perfectionism, a penchant for self-punishment—a rigid template on which to trace my pubescent identity.”
“Crossword-puzzle constructor,” I found, was an uncannily compatible identity container. She must be disciplined, I imagined people thinking. A little obsessive, maybe—but the cultural residue of female hysteria, a century later, might have you convinced that this simply meant “adorable.” And, without a doubt, she must be smart. As I tried harder to escape the trappings of my body—to become a boundless mind—I plunged deeper into a material world of doctors, therapists, scales, and blood samples. I filled notebooks with calorie counts and clues, meal plans and puzzle themes.”
I too am impartial to a good crossy, but I’d never thought about them in this way before. This piece prompted me to reflect on why I love them so much, and what crosswords have done for me.
Crosswords became a big part of my life during my third year of uni – someone who used to live in our building had a subscription to a paper that they’d never collect (I think they’d moved out), so me and my flatmate (see: bestie) would take them (after they’d sat for about a week) and do them whenever we could (usually as a way of procrastinating uni work.) We were so bad at the start of it all, but there was nothing like the rush of actually finishing one (nerd alert! + this very rarely happened.)
Crosswords got me through our first lockdown, when every morning at 9am I’d ring that same bestie and we’d do the morning crossy with a coffee, just so that we’d have some sort of routine.
They got me through an incredibly long and tiring hospital stay in India when my little brother was sick, and then an equally long one in Christchurch when we got him home.
They got me through a period, one year later, when I ceased being able to function because I was overwhelmed with grief - for a while I couldn’t really find the words to talk to anybody, barely even my family - so I’d just make them do crosswords with me.
Now crosswords get me through hot summers by the water, much-needed technology breaks - even my little brothers' friends love having me read them clues and giving them hints (no one is immune to the rush of being able to fill in the blanks!)
For me, these puzzles are the ultimate comfort. Give me a trashy magazine, a tatty a5 book from an airport, or (preferably) a newspaper, and for half an hour, those black and white squares are my home.
Have you heard of the Romance Gap?
This section is brought to you by our besties at Bumble!!
Ok so I’m about to make a few generalisations here - but I promise they’re backed up by fact! You know how we still expect dudes to make the first move, or to ‘pop the question,’ or still believe that ‘women have a shelf life’ (don’t even get me STARTED WITH THAT) - well it’s got a name! The Romance Gap is the discrepancy in behaviour expected from men / masc presenting people and women / femme presenting people when dating and in relationships. Luckily, Bumble has just done some research to help us understand it a bit more.
Turns out that while 91% of Kiwis think that equality is important in relationships (would love to have a chat with the other 9% tbh), 85% still say that there are different gender expectations and expected behaviours when it comes to romantic relationships - like the ones I mentioned above. I feel like this isn’t new but also - I kinda thought we were past this shit? Apparently not! I know you’re sick of waiting an hour to reply to a text because you don’t wanna seem too keen, or worrying that you’re ‘past your use-by date’ and Bumble is too! That’s why they’re fighting to close the Romance Gap by encouraging women to make the first move. Go shoot your damn shot besties!
PS I'd love to hear about any of your experiences with the romance gap so plz send them thru!!
What happens to crypto after you die?
Ok, so I don’t really have much to add to this - but how good is that question! I’d never actually thought about it. Obviously, nothing happens to your crypto when you die - it lives on, making or losing money as it does now, on ✨the blockchain.✨ The real question is, how do you inherit it? We’ve all heard the horror stories of a lost password, or a tossed-out hard drive, cutting someone off from their many millions - is there any difference if someone dies and they’re the only one with access to their crypto? Not really.
Usually with assets, like cars, houses etc, there’s a pretty straightforward process. You can decide, legally, who gets what. The thing with crypto is that yeah, you can legally decide who you want it to ‘go to,’ but that doesn't really mean shit if you can’t get it to them (plus, crypto doesn't really care for your silly laws.)
Like your other assets, you need to have a plan in place - it could be as simple as writing down all your credentials on a piece of paper that someone will have access to when you die, or setting up some sort of lock-box situation - or, as with any problem that needs solving, there are a few startups that are coming in hot to change up digital inheritance.
Anyway, just some food for thought/ another weird thing for me to be writing about at 6am.
Bored Ape Yacht Club Donates $1 Million in Crypto to Ukraine
Speaking of crypto (hopefully not for much longer):
I have no analysis for you, but Greg does:
The latest from Ukraine:
First of all, Squish and I did a biiiiig one for you on this weeks episode of The Shit Show!
A Huge Russia/ Ukraine Update! - The Shit Show — open.spotify.com
We're coming at you with a big old update on Russia's invasion into Ukraine. Why are pro-war Russians drawing "Z" everywhere? How is crypto being used by both sides? How are digital activists using targeted ads to help the cause? Why can't I get a large coke in a Russian maccas anymore? All your questions answered (in words you can understand!)
Here’s your daily summary from the BBC:
US journalist Brent Renaud is shot dead in the town of Irpin outside Kyiv, the first foreign reporter to die in this conflict
Ukraine says up to 30 Russian missiles were fired at a military training base, near the border of Nato member Poland
Officials say at least 35 people were killed and 134 injured in the attack on the Yavoriv base
The facility is used for training with Nato instructors
The airport near the western city of Ivano-Frankivsk has also been hit
People in Mariupol are said to be enduring freezing temperatures with no power, and little food and water, as Russian troops make gains in taking the city
And here’s the latest from The Kyiv Independent:
The White House is briefing TikTok stars about the war in Ukraine
In Taylor Lorenz’s first piece for The Washington Post she wrote about how TikTok stars are getting breifings from the White House.
“On Thursday afternoon, 30 top TikTok stars gathered on a Zoom call to receive key information about the war unfolding in Ukraine. National Security Council staffers and White House press secretary Jen Psaki briefed the influencers about the United States’ strategic goals in the region and answered questions on distributing aid to Ukrainians, working with NATO and how the United States would react to a Russian use of nuclear weapons.”
The world we live in eh?? But I actually dig this from the US govt. YES it’s a way of infiltrating TikTok with… whatever they kinda want, but it’s also a way to get some actual true information onto a platfrom that is often filled with… not true info. + it shows that they take it as a serious platform, where lots of young people are either turning to for (or accidentally getting) their news.
Grimes and Chelsea Manning’s Random Reported Relationship Leaked
Vulture are warning us to take this with a “grain of salt or at least a strong allegedly.”
Chelsea Manning, for those who may be unaware, is a former U.S. Army intelligence analyst and whistleblower (remember Wikileaks???)
“Gawker first alluded to the news in a blind item Thursday, wondering, “Which space witch with a hidden baby is dating a hacker extraordinaire?” Gee, we do wonder! “Page Six” got the exclusive confirmation Friday, reporting that Manning had moved in with Grimes (born Claire Boucher, a.k.a. c) post-breakup in Austin. “They’re getting serious,” a source told the outlet. “They U-Hauled it.”
Nothing much else to add, except that all of this is a pretty good indicator that there is, in fact, a glitch in the simulation.
A BUNCH OF POLL RESULTS
How do you eat a banana?
80% from the top
20% from the bottom
Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
29% stand (WHATTT)
71% stay seated
How do you pronounce H?
76% aitch
24% haitch
A Huge Russia/ Ukraine Update! (The Shit Show)
The complicated life of Kanye West: Part 1 (Culture Vulture)
How “Drive to Survive” Remade Formula 1 (The New Yorker)
Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill Will Hurt Teens Like Me (The New York Times)
The far right complains after the search engine DuckDuckGo vows to limit Russian propaganda (The New York Times)
You can listen to us talk about all things pop culture on Culture Vulture, about THE WORLD on The Shit Show or watch us explain the internet on Extremely Online.
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LOVE YOU THE MOST, LUCE XX
