CURSED NEW YORK DIARY: drama at the border, drama at the hotel, drama in the city
the worst hotel check in you've ever heard about, the best bagels you've ever seen
This diary edish was brought you by the angels and Samsung NZ xxx
Guys omg. My time in New York has been nothing short of crazy, and I cannot wait to tell you all about it. As you’re reading this, you might find yourself wondering, ‘Why the fuck does so much weird stuff happen to you, Luce?’ and I’m going to tell you exactly what I told Samsung Simon (my babysitter for the trip).
I have two theories:
When you’re a writer, it feels like the world just GIVES YOU CONTENT TO WRITE ABOUT, or
When you’re a writer, you just get really good at noticing things, and everything feels like a story.
Either way, enough teasing, let’s get into it.
Context: The angels at Samsung NZ brought me to NYC to live out my Carrie Bradshaw dreams and report on their big event ‘Samsung Galaxy Unpacked’, which is like a concert for a phone. This was sick for many reasons, not just because I was the only NZ media they took (so honoured as a lil indie to be trusted over everyone else), but also because doing things like this helps me pay my rent, so thank you, Samsung, I love you.
Now for the drama.
Day 1 (fake)
Flight to NYC from NZ gets cancelled
Day 1 (for real)
I arrive at the airport and meet Samsung Simon
I tell him that we need to make sure some things go wrong on the trip so that I have funny things to write about
I proceed to spill an entire glass of red wine all over me and my laptop, right before we board. Careful what you wish for Luce ʘ‿ʘ
and no, i didn’t bring a spare change of pants in my carry on I cleaned myself up in the showers by standing in my underwear and blow-drying my pants while Samsung Simon cleaned the floor and my laptop (ily)
Day 1 (still)
A grilling at the border
We land in the States, and I get the worst grilling of my entire life by Grumpy Gordon at the border. Everyone had been (rightfully) worried about me being able to enter the states due to my… somewhat unfiltered social media presence. But I had a plan. After the usual fingerprints and ‘where are you staying’ and ‘how long for’ chat, he asked me why I was here. I said for pleasure (not a lie, my job is fun.) And then when he asked what I did, I said I was a writer. It was then that his whole demeanour changed. He swivelled in his chair, looked me in the eyes and said:
“And you’re here to write about us?”
I said, “No, I’m not,” and he asked me what it was that I wrote about then.
Again, friends, I had a plan. While I was on the plane, I spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of writer a grumpy border agent would disregard in an instant. Something that would make their eyes glaze over, and not take me seriously.
“I write self-help for young women, “ I said.
And friends, I could literally see him deciding I wasn’t a threat in that moment alone. Anyway, after what felt like the longest five minutes of my life, Samsung Simon and I made it through, joyous and ready for a big sleep, after our 20+ hours of travel.
Little did we know this was just the beginning of our ordeal.
The city that never sleeps (because they won’t let you into the hotel)
So, we arrived at our hotel (which was booked through a travel agent, because this was a business trip, and that is their policy, and it’s also a very normal thing to do) at just after midnight, and tried to check in.
The hotel was the Sheraton Brooklyn, and I’m going to name and shame because I have literally never had an experience like this.
We got there, and since our flight had been cancelled the day before, our travel agent had rung them to let them know that we’d be checking in a day later, and they said they’d taken a note, and that was fine.
Reader, it was not fine.
The dude at the front desk (Julian, the Night Manager from Sunday 6th July - Monday 7th July, in case this somehow gets back to staff at the Sheraton lol) told us he could see our booking, but because we hadn’t checked in when we were supposed to, the whole week had been cancelled.
Ok, these things happen! We thought. We weren’t angry or anything, and we got the travel agent on the phone, so she could start sorting things out.
Meanwhile, Julian at the front desk just did not want to fix the problem. All he wanted to do was tell us that it was our fault for using a travel agent, that none of this would have happened if we’d booked directly, and basically was just giving us all these excuses about why it wasn’t his fault. We said that’s okay, we just need somewhere to sleep :)
Then, a bunch of other guests came in, so he told us to go and sit down while he spent half an hour or so serving the other guests.
When he was finished doing that, he told us he was going to “do us a massive favour” by rebooking our stay, because we “really shouldn’t have used a travel agent” and gave us a few more excuses about why it wasn’t his fault.
I was getting a little annoyed at this point, but I was just sitting in the lobby reading my book, and trying to find the silver linings (I’m in New York! I’m so lucky to be here!)
This was when Julian noticed our luggage up by the front desk, where he’d told us to leave it, and then started telling us off for leaving it there.
At this point, we’d been there for an hour and he hadn’t even started trying to find us beds, even though he’d spoken to our travel agent and everyone knew what happened.
He came out from behind the desk and started moving our luggage, and Samsung Simon said, “Don’t worry, I’ll move it. Please, can you just work on finding us beds?”
And he started telling us again how he was doing us a “massive favour” by fixing our booking.
This is when I just had to say something.
I said, “You’re not doing us a favour, you’re actually just doing your job. Please find us somewhere to sleep, we’ve just travelled 20 hours 🥺”
He responded by saying he was inclined to refuse service because of our “disrespect.”
At this point, Samsung Simon and I were looking for other places to stay, but it was nearing 2am, and because it was technically the ‘next day’, we would have to wait til like 3pm to check in somewhere else.
While we were looking for somewhere new, the hotel worker walked over with a card and said:
“Unfortunately, I can’t find you a bed tonight, but here’s the number for the General Manager”, and walked away.
We were tired, and honestly a bit gobsmacked, but to prevent this story from getting any longer, it all worked out so beautifully because we moved to the incredible Ace Hotel Brooklyn, whose staff helped us immediately, and we finally got to go to bed at like 3am.
Day 2-3
MELTING IN THE CITY
Samsung Simon and I had a few days to acclimatise (not literally, because it’s so hot here in NYC that I will never be used to the climate.) We did so by exploring Brooklyn (where I took him to a bunch of stationery shops and Bookshops), eating bagels and sandwiches (shout out to Leon’s Bagels and Katz Deli’s reuben!), and drinking martinis.
On one such martini outing (at an incredible bar called ‘Monkey Bar), I’d had enough alcohol that I started striking up conversations with the poeple around me. One dude - Rob - was amazing, he made us try the best burger in the city (at Monkey Bar - it was the whole reason he was there) and gave us his favourite restaurant in Brooklyn (Romans! And it was unreal!)
Anyway, while we were talking to Radiant Rob, Arrogant Andrew chimed in. He was sitting next to me at the bar and leaned over to start talking to me.
The first thing he asked me was, “Are you a republican or a democrat?
Samsung Simon and I were SHOOK, and I replied, well, I’m a person, and also I’m from New Zealand, soooo…
And then he asked what I did, and so I proudly told him about Shit You Should Care About, and that he should look it up. I love a good rage bait as much as the next person.
He took one look at SYSCA, turned to me, and said, “I’m the opposite of woke. We (referring to him and his wife whom he never introduced me to, I had to do it myself) are ‘super anti-woke.”
I laughed and said, “Good for you,” and his wife said, “Oh, my yoga teacher follows you.”
Then left shortly after, and will probably be switching yoga instructors.
Day 4 - 5
Tech and the City: Samsung takes a bite out of the big Apple™ (pun intended)
Well and truly acclimated (not to the heat, but to the demeaner of New Yorkers heheh), it was time to cosplay Carrie Bradshaw if she were a woman in STEM.
The first day was a ‘first look’ at the new phones they were unveiling, and a time to get some content. While for other hardcore tech reporters this meant looking at the specs, the speed, the security, the new features (all very good, I promise), for Samsung Simon and I it meant spending about 20 minutes trying to balance these three phones so we could show you the selfie abilities.
My favourite phone was the coral red (hot pink) GALAXY Z FLIP7 because it’s so fucking cute, and I want it so bad.
BUT, the hero one - the one that everyone was GAGGED by, is the GALAXY Z FOLD7.
Again, if I were a normal tech reporter, I would describe to you how skinny this phone was by using millimetres and the specs that they so beautifully explained to me, but instead I will tell you that this phone is skinnier than my antidepressants:
Also, you can have up to FOUR TABS open on it at once, so I wanted to demonstrate how you could set up a brainrot video alongside your study notes, all on one phone:
I’m actually obsessed with the way Samsung allow me to write about things in the most Luce-coded way. It means everything to me to have partners that let me be weird!! But - to give them some credit, I do wanna give you a few more deets.
The new phones kinda feel as if Samsung sat down and were like… “should we just give everyone EVERYTHING they want?
Aside from the design glow-ups (skinnier, lighter, pink AND mint colourways???) the Fold7 literally has a 200 megapixel camera (think… taking a photo from the furthest seats at a concert and still being able to count the beads of sweat on the Harry Styles’ forehead), and the new FlexWindow (the front sceen) on the Z Flip7 is a major flex (sorry, that was cringe.)
And even though I don’t care so much about the AI stuff, it seems all the techies do these days, and everything from the audio eraser, the auto transcriber, and the tools where you can edit shit out of your photos (me when I take my Shit You Should Wear About photos and have clothes all over the floor) the new features on these phones are legit.
I should also note that while these phones are on the expenny side - Samsung also announced a more affordable flip phone - the Galaxy Z Flip7 FE (Fan Edition) - which I don’t think is getting enough attention?
OK!! Enough Tech You Should Care About - let’s talk about the PARTY?
Galaxy Unpacked
The next day was the main event, and as I keep saying, it’s like a concert for a phone.
BUT, the thing I actually loved the most is that Samsung invites along a bunch of superfans - people who feel the same way about these new products as I do about a new Harry Styles album. They’re all in the same merch, they’re getting group photos, they’re clapping when the new announcements are made - it’s actually SO wholesome, and we know I adore people with interests, no matter what they may be.
The After Party: Smiths and the City
After going home to work and edit all the brilliant content, when were off to a PARTY for a phone. Samsung Simon and I rocked up fashionably late because we’d heard that there were going to be special guests appearing at 8pm.
And THEN Jaden and Willow Smith came out, and they actually ATE:
And there we have it! For the next few days, I’m gonna be hanging out with my cousin on the Lower East Side and continuing to MELT in the city heat. Any and all recs are welcome, as always!
All my love to everyone except the Brooklyn Sheraton,
Luce and Samsung Simon xx
Bahahaha! I love that you named and shamed Julian at the Brooklyn Sheraton! What an a$$hole! Delighted it worked out for you to stay somewhere else - clearly you were not meant to stay there in the first place! ✨
I hope your travel agent gave her contact at Sheraton some choice words. "Oh, I hear Julian said people shouldn't use travel agents, maybe we should start booking elsewhere, what do you think?"