‘Fans’ made Doja Cat ‘Quit’ Music
Mōrena lil shits!!
It’s our favourite time of the week because you get a weekend round-up from me which means I’m forced to relive everything cringe I did over the past few days!!! I had a very spesh weekend celebrating my flatmate Flo (who is a recurring character in the SYSCA universe, not least for that wonderful photo-set of her first foray into the Metaverse.) Saturday began with Liv and I gifting her THE TAYLOR SWIFT ‘FUCK THE PATRIARCHY’ key chain (which she loved) and then getting on a boat (after waiting in the longest line you’ve ever seen) with a few of our closest pals to spend the day over on Waiheke Island.
When we got arrived we decided to take a quick walk up the hill and go to winery #1 (fully booked but they found us some seats at the back so we made it work!) Then we decided to walk to winery #2 (also booked, this time with no room for us, no matter how sweetly we smiled at them.) At this point the tally was: drinks: 1, hours on/travelling to Waiheke: 4, hikes in our nice dresses: 4 (if you count the super long driveways we walked up and down when we realised we were waiting in the wrong spot for the bus), happy campers: all of us.
The spirits remained high and we headed into town for some lunch (we HAD booked this time) and antics, which included me finding the most GORGEOUS second-hand blazer with its tag still on for $500 (:O) reduced down to $80 (:O), buying it, and giving a fashion show to everyone back at the bar they were all at (and the restaurant manager.) We also pre-gamed some Quick-Eze as a pre-emptive attack on the indigestion we were sure to be all feeling soon (WHO DOES THIS?), and headed on our way to our third winery of the day.
At this point, we were all incredibly merry and we did, in fact, give the double-decker bus we were on a bit of a show. It started with birthday speeches for Flo before - naturally - we all broke into a wonderful acapella rendition of All Too Well 10 min version (unfortunately for the patrons there was a microphone involved (tell me why I wrote microwave first and only realised just before sending this out that there was not in fact a microwave on the bus.)) Listening back to the recordings… it actually sounded pretty good??? The day finished up at a gorg winery, and on the boat road home I ruined the Wordle for a poor dude who told me - in no uncertain terms - that I was not to give him any clues. Oops. (How hard was Saturday's wordle tho??)
And then Sunday happened. Nothing to report there.
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In today’s newsletter:
An update on Normy
Snapchat wants you to control it with your mind - literally
Kevin and Frankie Jonas have a new reality TV show
Doja Cat 'Quits' Music
What comes after languishing? Is it malaise?
Sean Penn Threatens To Smelt His Oscars In Public If Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky Is Not Invited To Speak At The Academy Awards
If your house has been robbed have you been burgled or burglarised????
An update on Normy
Since you all loved my story about my Dad going on holiday a week early, I thought I owed you an update. Since he couldn't hire a rental car (because he forgot his license) he figured he couldn’t really spend a week somewhere without his friends, or a car, or a clue. So he jumped on a flight home. The only problem was that there was no direct flight back to where we live, so he had to take two different ones. And then when he got off his first flight his next one was cancelled. SO! He had to spend the night in another random city where he does not live, before waking up the next day and jumping on a new flight home. Quite the adventure for old Normy, but he’s loved all your kind responses to my section on him (I forwarded him on all your messages) and his two notes were: ‘wow, you have some caring readers’ and ‘what’s a pisser?’ followed by a bit of urban dictionary research. NORMY AND I LOVE YOU ALL!
Snapchat wants to control your mind - kinda
Do you remember our episode of Extremely Online all about Neuralink? If not, you should watch that for a bit more context on this. But Snap (the company that owns Snapchat) has just acquired a company doing a similar type of thing to Neuralink - NextMind.
“Before joining Snap, NextMind developed non-invasive brain computer interface (BCI) technology in order to enable easier hands-free interaction using electronic devices, including computers and AR/VR wearables and headsets.
This technology monitors neural activity to understand your intent when interacting with a computing interface, allowing you to push a virtual button simply by focusing on it. This technology does not “read” thoughts or send any signals towards the brain.
So… they made a headband that allowed you to control things using your thoughts. According to The Verge, Snap's goal with acquiring Nextmind is that their “technology will eventually be incorporated into future versions of Snap’s Spectacles AR glasses.” Idk if it’s just me, but I don’t really think the future of anything is in Augmented Reality spectacles, but as with all other emerging tech, I’ll watch (with my non-AR specs) from the sidelines.
Kevin and Frankie Jonas have a new reality TV show
So, after I disclosed in one of last week's newsy’s that I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan (someone tell me why I used to cry to “A Little Bit Longer” so much) and it turns out that so were a lot of you!!
Ruby actually made such a good point this weekend when we were a few wines in - she said that I’ve been a fan of so many different things in this world (Jobros, Camp Rock, One Direction, Bo Burnham Harry… the list goes on) that it’s often less about the actual object of my affection and more about me needing somewhere to put all my… love??? 🥺🥺
Anyway, it’s like the world was listening (or my instincts were just… bang on) because Kevin and Frankie (the underrated Jonas and the bonus Jonas) are launching a reality TV show with ABC where celebrity relatives go undercover (or... more undercover since no one would really know who they are) and try to become… as famous as their siblings I guess???
“The series will challenge 12 celebrity relatives to step outside their famous family member’s shadow and live together under one roof, concealing their identity and lineage in the quest for their own fame and fortune. They will compete in challenges, form alliances and play DNA detective in hopes of avoiding elimination and winning the coveted $100,000 prize, and staking their own Claim to Fame.”
I can't figure out whether I wanna watch this or not???
Doja Cat Says She’s Quitting Music
I watched this play out over Twitter and damn it was… not nice to see. Basically, Doja cat cancelled a show in Paraguay (due to severe flooding) and her ‘fans’ just… massively came for her. She’d also just tweeted that she didn’t feel like she’s given her best performance in Brazil (her most recent performance), and fans from Paraguay were jealous that she seemed to care more about Brazil than about them, and were upset that she didn’t go outside to meet them when she cancelled her show (I’m pretty sure if she cancelled it because of flooding it… probs wasn't a good idea for fans to be outside or for her to go outside, but what do I know?)
Doja has sorta done a U-turn now, but this whole interaction just demonstrates the worst parts of the internet to me. Fans who think they’re owed things from someone who they’ve formed a parasocial relationship with can be so nasty/ forget that there is a real person (who doesn't just live to fulfil your every wish) on the other side of those tweets. And then there's the platform problem. Doja using social media to engage (which of course she has every right to - the fans were doing it to her soooo) is exactly what social media is built for - and where it thrives. Algorithms love likes, and love promoting the shit that's enraged and engaged people. Which is how this made its way onto my timeline. I don’t know much about Doja Cat at all and certainly didn’t follow what she was up to until I saw 'viral tweets' dissecting the ✨drama.✨ Suddenly a perfect mix of algorithms and engagement from others meant a niche part of a fandom I knew nothing about became something I (and so many others) knew about/ had a take on. And now it's part of the morning newsy.
What comes after languishing? Is it malaise?
This section is written by my crush, the refreshing-as-a-house-chard-on-a-steamy-day, Bel Hawkins. You should check out more of her beautiful words here.
After this NYT article went viral because someone finally found a word to describe how we were feeling over the last two years (basically a bit emo and unmotivated and not able to make progress), it felt like languishing would never end.
And now, with lockdowns easing and other world tragedies starting, there’s a new feeling in town: Malaise. Which means some of us are still feeling kinda bleak and unexcited and we don’t really know why??
‘malaise
/maˈleɪz/
noun
a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or unease whose exact cause is difficult to identify.’
It’s that feeling of being happy to have some of your freedoms back, being grateful to see your friends and family, drink seven Craig Davids at a bar on a weeknight and feel alive for a quick, hot minute. But it’s still… not enough? Remember before 2020? The rush of anything being possible? Yeah, it’s that that’s been stripped back and made us feel sometimes like… what’s the point of daydreaming about things if we never know if they’ll be able to happen?
The fix is to find something sensory that brings you out of your body and into joy as much as you can. Phone on do not disturb mode. The taste of coffee in your mouth. Hot shower on your skin. Getting the hell out of the city. Going to a movie and forgetting about life outside of its walls for two hours. Good luck.
Actor Sean Penn Threatens To Smelt His Oscars In Public If Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky Is Not Invited To Speak At The Academy Awards
That’s from Deadline and all the info you really need is in the headline. Penn, who’s currently filming a documentary about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine recently met with Zelensky, and said that he thinks Zelensky should be invited to speak virtually at the Oscars (there have been rumours of this happening) and if not, attendees should boycott the ceremony. Here’s his statement:
“If it turns out to be what is happening, I would encourage everyone involved, though it may be their moment, and I understand that, to celebrate their films, it is so much more importantly their moment to shine, and to protest and to boycott that Academy Awards. I myself, if it comes back to it, when I return, I will smelt mine in public,” Penn said. “I pray that’s not what happened. I pray there have not been arrogant people who consider themselves representatives of the greater good who have decided not to check in with leadership in Ukraine. So I’m going to hope that’s not what happened, and I hope everyone walks out if it is.”
If your house has been robbed have you been burgled or burglarised????
60% burgled
40% burglarised
I'd never heard 'burglarised' until I heard it on a podcast and thought the host was just getting the word 'burgled' completely wrong. Turns out, after reading the first article I came across on Google, you can say either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A Plane Crash & A Pay Gap (The Shit Show)
Inner monologues: Explained (Culture Vulture)
Why is everyone commenting brownie recipes in TikTok comments? (Mashable)
What You’re Feeling Isn’t A Vibe Shift. It’s Permanent Change. (Buzzfeed)
Walk Away Like a Boss (N+1)
Ukraine Starts Using Facial Recognition To Identify Dead Russians And Tell Their Relatives (Forbes)
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LOVE YOU THE MOST, LUCE XX
