🍭Harrychella & Willy Wonka 🍫

Apr 18, 2022

Today we’re starting with a BIG shout out to the 22 new ✨SYSCA SUPPORTERS✨ who’ve just joined us - I see you & I love you! If you wanna support what we do, you can become a ✨SYSCA Supporter✨ here!

Mōrena lil shits!!

My angels!!! Damn, it feels like I’ve been gone for a lifetime - I’ve missed you! I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger in the last newsy after I spilt my coffee all over my laptop and was unsure how long it had to go. I can confirm that after a few days off from the newsy, the laptop is still alive and kicking (but it does sorta stink of old coffee now.)

Now, I know you’re all waiting for a run-down of my weekend (it’s coming) but I just wanted to give you the vibe of today’s newsy first. As with any other time I’ve taken a break from writing this thing (there has only been one other time, so it’s not really a trend yet) I have accumulated a BACKLOG of links and things to talk to you about. So today, rather than a few chunky stories, you’re gonna get a bunch of smaller stories with links. It just HAS to be this way or I’ll never be able to show you all the things I wanna show you. Now, on to my weekend!

For Easter, I went away with my family to Golden Bay - one of my FAVE parts of New Zealand. We rented a little bach and it was bliss. My little brother Ben (who turned 19 yesterday 🥺) fancies himself as a bit of a chef so we ate loads of yummy food, did SO MANY crosswords, and I actually found some time to start reading a new book. OMG and this book is fucking great. I’m only halfway through so I’m tentative to give a review, but I’m also Luce and content sharing is my love language so I’m gonna tell you anyway. It’s called ‘Still Life’ by Sarah Winman, and Man did she Win with this book (hehehe.) It’s cozy as hell and has managed to steal my attention away from all the other things out there to be doing, which makes a book worthy of recommending in my eyes!

Aside from a lot of relaxing, we did also did a lot of stuff and things. Here’s a quick run-through:

We went to Te Waikoropupū Springs, the CLEAREST freshwater springs you ever saw:

And the most AMAZING beach near the Anatori River:

We also fed some eels:

And saw a pink moon (not pictured but here's a sunrise):

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend, and I’m refreshed and pumped to be back on the tools.

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HARRYCHELLA
Kim Kardashian’s Son Saint, 6, Found a Joke About Her Sex Tape With Ray J on Roblox
I rewatched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and I have thoughts
Elon Musk is full of shit… but we always buy into it
The Day the Puffles Cried: Disney Shuts Down Club Penguin Rewritten
SO MANY POLL RESULTS

HARRYCHELLA

So, as you probs all know, Harry played Coachella over the weekend and first of all:

vigilante shit you should care about @SYSCAbout

Bye

Second of all we got 2 NEW SONGS: ‘Boyfriend’ and 'Late Night Talking.'

Third of all he brought out SHANIA TWAIN!? This is all just more evidence that he reads the newsy and saw that I was obsessed with Haim’s ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much’ and had to one-up them to impress me (much), right?? Well, that do impress me, very much.

Also, who’s he gonna bring out next week?

vigilante shit you should care about @SYSCAbout

would literally kill to see harry perform with ANY OF THESE PPL

Kim Kardashian’s Son Saint, 6, Found a Joke About Her Sex Tape With Ray J on Roblox

It was only a matter of time, really. So Kim’s Son Saint was playing Roblox (a game that all the kids are into - big Metaverse vibes) and he came across a photo of her ‘crying face’ alongside a note about “unreleased footage” from her sex tape with the Ray J. Weirdly, this scenario is something I often think about when it comes to the Metaverse and how the hell we are supposed to regulate/ moderate it (BORING Luce, I know.) But it’s true! Now stick with me while I get to my point (if there is one.)

When it comes to the big social platforms of Web2 (the web of today) the people who own them also own us, and all our data, and our eyeballs, so they can choose what type of ads to put in front of us, and what to serve us to keep us on their platform and blah blah blah - we know this. With a more decentralized web (Web3, the web of tomorrow - potench), the ownership is meant to be back in our hands to let us curate and own our experience in a more legit way. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ADVERTISERS??? Well, right now they’re having fashion shows in the Metaverse or naming their company after the Metaverse or doing ✨whatever they can✨ to have some ownership over this thing that really isn’t meant to be owned, all in the hopes of being able to make this new era of the web…. exactly like the current era. Which is ✨not the vibe.✨

See - the beauty of Web3, should it eventuate, is that we hopefully won’t have to worry about going online to have our attention stolen by these big players, and the idea of the Metaverse (I’m lumping it in here with Web3 - they’re different concepts but with similar underpinnings) is that you can have full self-expression and be who you feel you can’t be in real life - BUT SINCE NO-ONE OWNS IT, WHO IS IN CHARGE OF MODERATING IT? And if the goal is complete self-expression then I guess there’s a (really bad) argument for having no moderation, BUT THEN YOU GET THINGS LIKE SAINT KARDASHIAN FINDING OUT ABOUT KIMS SEX TAPE VIA ROBLOX (a game that is like a gateway Metaverse game) AND WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN??

All of this is to say that this new era of the web/ the world we’re moving into has some kinks to iron out, naturally, but to me that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be excited by/ interested in watching it all unfold. It makes sense that for something that is sorta underpinned by the idea of having no central leader, things take a different (maybe longer) course to get figured out. Name me a better version of the internet? I’ll wait.

(Ok I lied in the intro when I told you that there were going to be only small bite-sized sections. I kinda popped off with this one.)

I rewatched 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' and I have thoughts

First of all, it’s just so much creepier than I remembered (not a hot take.) Also, remember that theory that Wonka was a serial killer? I remember reading about it on Tumblr. Anyway, that wasn’t my thought while I watched it this time. My thought was ‘what came first: Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka, or the Wonka brand?’ Now, of course, with like a second of thinking I realised that it was Dahl’s imagination, but then I thought - did he start the Wonka brand? Or did he get royalties for all the Nerds and Gobstoppers that were sold under the name??? How did all of that work?? So naturally, I figured it out and it’s hella smart and genius marketing. The idea to make the movie all started with oats - Quakers Oats. The dude who owned the Quaker’s Oats Company had a daughter who LOVED the ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ book and urged him to turn it into a movie, and just like Veruca Salt - she got her way. The Quaker Oats Company financed the original film for $3 million, in exchange for exclusive rights to use the Wonka name on a line of candy(the candy that would be used in the movie.) SMART.

And with that, one month before the film was released, The Willy Wonka Candy Company was born, so when kids saw the film and just HAD to have the novelty candy bars – they actually could (they couldn’t quite nail the OG Wonka chocolate bar, but they launched a couple of other products instead.)

Then, the Willy Wonka Candy Company changed hands a few times before landing in the Nestlé family, who - up until then - were primarily known for making things like condensed milk and infant formula. Under Nestlé the Wonka brand thrived, at one point even having their own ‘Golden Ticket’ competition (the marketing strategy just writes itself really!) (actually, Dahl wrote it) where winners were treated to a trip to anywhere in the world and won $12,500.

Then, in 2017, the Wonka brand was rebranded to ‘Candy Shop’ which people weren’t into, and eventually, all of Nestlé's candy brands, including Willy Wonka Candy Company products were sold to Italy-based Ferrero, the company behind Nutella and Ferrero Rocher.

Anyway, there’s the history of Wonka that you never asked for! It seems that ever since that initial $3mil for making the film/ licensing the name, the Wonka brand just took off on its own??

PS does anyone remember playing the Wonka computer games??? I think they were online and I distinctly remember playing a SweeTarts game and a Laffy Taffy maze??? I’m having all these weird flashbacks of them and if anyone remembers please link me/ let me know!

Lol another long one! Ok sections are getting shorter from…. NOW.

Elon Musk is full of shit… but we always buy into it

Right after I signed off for the weekend, Elon Musk tried to buy Twitter. But if you only read one take about it all, it should be this one.

Also, this piece reminds us of the time that Elon changed his title within Tesla from CEO to ‘Technoking’ because labels are useless (kinda true) and, when he was sick of traffic, he literally started a company called ‘The Boring Company’ to bore tunnels through the earth to avoid traffic. And now it’s a legit company with contracts to bore tunnels under major US cities. They also made flame throwers.

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when he realised he was sick of driving in traffic so he started a company to literally bore (dig) through the earth & called it The Boring Company

Boris Isn’t Sorry For Party Rocking

Boris isn't sorry for party rocking - The Shit Show — open.spotify.com

This week: An update on Boris Johnson's lockdown parties, how Ukraine is using AI to identify dead soldiers, a self-driving car tries to evade the police, and why the HELL is food so expensive these days?

The Day the Puffles Cried: Disney Shuts Down Club Penguin Rewritten

The Day the Puffles Cried: Disney Shuts Down Club Penguin Rewritten

This piece made me so sad because Club Penguin waddled so that Roblox/ Fornite could run. First of all a couple of stories about Club Penguin:

My penguin was called ‘Miss Quickie’ (wtf) and I was so confused when other penguins would waddle up to me and say ‘hey miss quickie, how about a quickie’
I got banned because my cousin got on my account and typed ‘what’s up fuckers’

Anyway, this was my FAVE game - it used to be on Miniclip (remember Miniclip??), and since I’ve become an adult it has been bought by Disney and has resurfaced (not under the Disney umbrella, but by independent programmers and moderators) as ‘Club Penguin Rewritten.’ Despite letting it thrive for a few years, Disney clearly wasn’t into this blatant copyright of a product they owned, so “on April 13, 2022, players logging on to Club Penguin Rewritten were greeted with a black screen, the City of London Police logo, and a notice stating, “This site has been taken over by Operation Creative, Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit (PIPCU).””

And then in their Discord server someone wrote:

“CPRewritten is shutting down effective immediately due to a full request by Disney. We have voluntarily given control over the website to the police for them to continue their copyright investigation.”

The City of London Police also said that three people were arrested ‘on suspicion of distributing materials infringing copyright’ and after being searched, they handed over the game.

Why now? Well according to Reddit user British_Commie:

“It’s worth noting that Club Penguin Rewritten’s recent decision to add advertisements to gain revenue probably is the biggest factor that put them in Disney’s firing line, since they’re using an IP they don’t own in order to make money.”

The least Disney can do now is release the game again under their umbrella, since there’s so much demand for it!!

SO MANY POLLS

Do you talk to strangers on planes?

Gone are the days of a plane meet-cute. These days, it seems that we’ve all saved 7 episodes of Culture Vulture or The Shit Show to listen to on the journey - right?