"How do I deal with my flakey friends without being a bitch?"
2024 is NOT the year of the flake, and this I guarantee
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot, or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white) drop your question here and we might just answer it!
"Bel, I need to channel some SYSCA energy here. I feel like a bit of a dick, but my friends and I have been planning and saving for an overseas trip for ages. But the closer we get to the time to actually book, the flakier they’re getting. I know this is such a first-world problem, but how do I get them to commit without being a bitch to my favourite people?”
Dear Committed To The Cause,
If there’s one thing I admire most in a friend, it’s their ability to somehow, magically rope more than two other people into an activity we all want to do but somehow are completely inept in helping organise. It’s a skill you should put on your CV. It’s one I will wholeheartedly endorse on LinkedIn. It’s something your entire friend group should buy you extra gifts for on your birthday in compensation. We treat you like a disinterested soft boi (despite loving you deeply) but still, you persist. It’s incredible. And you do not deserve this in return.
But yet, here you are again, at the helm of a goddam group chat and its various splinters, trying not to lose it when no one replies for 11 days because they’re busy, yet you can see on their stories they’re out at a wine bar after work on a week night.
Your efforts must not go unrewarded. And you must go on this trip, friends or no friends. Here are some options: