"How do I know if I'm falling out of love with my bf of 3.5 years?"
Do I stay or do I go?
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white), drop your question here, and we might just answer it!
Bel Bel Bel! Pls pls help. I’m desperate/idk what’s wrong with me...
How can I know if I’m falling out of love? I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3.5 years, and we’ve been through so much together - we’re currently long-distance (rough) and only see each other every few months.
Idk why I feel so weird - I can’t tell if I’m just comfortable or if the relationship has run its course. I care about him so deeply, respect him a lot, and he’s still a best friend to me - but I’m trying to find the romance again. The distance is making everything hard, and I’m worried it won’t make sense for us to keep trying to be together. What should I do?
Dear on the fence,
Omg.
What a predicament.
You’re out there in the real world with real-life love, one that loves you back, and you’re wondering… if it’s enough.
You’re listening to your single friends regale the most war-adjacent storylines of going on a simple date with a stranger and feel both… jealousy for the drama and slight relief that you have someone to go home and watch Selling Sunset with. Seems like a sick joke.
However, the tricky thing about living this life with a moving, beating thing inside your chest is that it has a mind of its own, and the more you deny it of its needs, the more wound up inside you’ll become. It’s hard, I know, but this is living, baby.
Here’s what I think you should do: