"How do I navigate the dating app hellscape?"
If I get another 'u up?' past 10pm again I'm going to light myself on fire.
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot, or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white) drop your question here and we might just answer it!
"Ok Bel, I’ve decided it’s time to hit the dating apps. What’s the best way to start a good convo? How do I navigate this hellscape?"
Dear putting a line in the water,
Firstly, welcome.
Welcome to one of the most confounding experiences of modern single life. Get your Sims password and get in. Get your best chill / cool / interesting / cavalier / cute self sorted because that’s the only way to enjoy this and make it out alive.
Hitting the apps is a reckless experiment in your own self-worth and how insane strangers can be. It’s fun and horny and fraught and impossible to truly get a handle on, and it could just well be both the best and worst way to spend your time.
Below, I’ve kindly included some strategies that will hopefully help you avoid winding up at a nondescript fusion restaurant on a Tuesday (note - the lowest stake night of the week) doing your tax return in your mind while someone tells you at length about how their ex’s passion for perfume-making in Brooklyn, New York, changed their life forever.
App dating is hell, but in its moments, it can be heaven, too. Let me tell you what I know: