"How do I not have a crush on someone and go clinically INSANE?!"
Sounds stupid but I really want to knooow!
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white), drop your question here, and we might just answer it!
Bel. Bel. Bel. The question is simple. I have a crush. I’ve had crushes in the past and I hope I have crushes in the future but every time I get one I go INSANE.
Like, can’t concentrate, can’t make plans, turn into an obsessive internet detective - you name it. How can I have a crush and not go crazy?
Dear crushing,
Ok, firstly I want to say crushing is essential in a burning world because it’s one of the most unhinged feelings to remind you you’re alive and anything might be possible if you’re insane enough to believe it.
Secondly, I don’t think you’re alone in feeling like you tip off the planet once you decide you like someone (or even hornier if you collide with them like a Meg Ryan meet cute). There is truly nothing like making out with a stranger to make you feel magic in your body, and like you might be the one to solve climate change if you were given half the chance and a date at a wine bar next week. Crushing is psycho like that.
But that’s not what the question is. The question is how to stay sane when you like someone. And keep (as much is possible) away from the dangers of completely over-romanticising a mere mortal who’s probably shit at stacking the dishwasher and doesn’t text back.
I see you, I hear you, I hold space for you. Here’s what I think: