How the hell do you eat a corn chip? 🌽
Mōrena lil shits!!
I think I had one too many cosmos last night (I literally had two but it had been a bit of a stressy day so still... one too many!) The night started off living my true Carrie Bradshaw / Sex and The City dream with my crimped hair, pink cosmo in hand and three wonderful girlfriends - and ended how any good night should - with none of us being full from our meal and going to get fish and chips. Hilariously, we couldn’t really find anywhere to sit, so perched on a nice grassy roadside berm (next to a large Buddha painting) with just the most beautiful view of a huge “NZ PM is a Racist” sign. Scenes. One dude emerged from the house that had the sign and struck up a conversation with us about how nice the evening was, and then a lady walked past us laughing her head off and said to us “is this Woodstock 1969???” Moral of the story, don’t eat fish and chips on the side of the road unless you want some content for your morning newsletter.
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In today’s newsletter:
The wildest things your relatives have fallen for on Facebook
Winter Olympics: Games official claims stories of human rights abuses against Uyghur Muslims are 'lies'
Coachella and Stagecoach music festivals are returning with no COVID-19 protocols
A fucking beautiful interview with Andrew Garfield
WTF is happening between Russia & Ukraine
How the hell do you eat a corn chip?
The wildest things your relatives have fallen for on Facebook: Part 2
@helloimbeca: My mom sent me an article that stated almond milk "ruins your teeth and can make them all fall out".
@troyb347: My mom saw something that said the entire west coast is going to be underwater in 6 months and she started freaking out
@that_girl_aphilerh: last year my mom heard that eating noodles was causing deaths in our country
@jurassica_anne: The moon turns green every 100 years, but always on the same date, 20 April… 420… Thing is every year it’s the same story
@helenaroseonline: My dad thought him & Snoop Dogg had started up an Instagram friendship but it was a fake account with 50 followers
@mrsbhat: My mum shared a picture of a dog with a “facial deformity” with that stupid “1 like=$1 to fund surgery” bullshit . The dog just had a fucking piece of ham on its face, it was not deformed 😂😂
@aggiecats: That dog with the ham slice on his face that everyone thought was sick. 1 like = 1 prayer.
@thisintrovertknits: My sister in law once argued that drinking hot coffee causes more cancer related deaths than smoking…
@sidniesays: I knew someone that believed oranges weren’t naturally orange and that someone’s job was to paint them in the fields before they’re picked.
@laura.mmiles: That a diet of ONLY sprite and white bread would cure her stomach aches 🥴🥴
@israelc.enterstage: Some of my family members believed the 5 minute crafts videos right down to the "charcoal nugget in peanut butter and ice makes a crystal" one 🤦🏻♀️
@hayerley: My cousin told me that Destiny’s Child got their name because Beyonce’s mums name is Tina. That’s Tina’s child > dats tinas child > dastinas child > Destiny’s Child ☠️🤣
@maidiewidmer: That the ‘poke’ feature sent a Facebook worker to the recipient and physically poked them
I love ur family members eh, thank them for the content will ya?
Winter Olympics: Games official claims stories of human rights abuses against Uyghur Muslims are 'lies'
Give us a break!!! The Winter Olympics officials either don’t wanna be liked or don’t have a PR team or something, because a Games official just dismissed claims of human rights violations against the Uyghur Muslim population (referring to the forced labour, internment camps and alleged genocide of the Uyghur people) as "lies,"
The International Olympic Committee has said repeatedly that the Games should be “free from politics” but this is just the dumbest take ever when you’re literally getting 91 countries to participate and you’re in the midst of a diplomatic boycott by the United States, Britain and other Western nations over your human rights records.
And, as per the BBC: “Athletes have also been told to stick to the IOC's Rule 50, which bans political statements on the medals podium and in competitions.”
Coachella and Stagecoach music festivals are returning with no COVID-19 protocols 🙃
Uhhhhh, so we already knew that vaccinations wouldn’t be required for entry into these events, but just this week it’s been announced that at Coachella and Stagecoach there “will no longer be any Covid-related barriers to entry at all”, not even negative tests or a requirement to wear masks. Bear in mind that the US had about 140k new cases yesterday - seems chill.
I wonder what this will mean for acts like Billie Eilish, FINNEAS and Harry Styles who have been so vocal about protecting ourselves against Covid-19, and also about keeping their fans safe at concerts and shows (particularly after Astrowolrd.) Feels like another thing where, unfortunately, you can’t separate your politics/your values from your art - you shouldn’t have to not play what is perhaps the biggest show of your life because of something unrelated to you and your set (not that Covid-19 is unrelated to anyone, but it’s not like a band member pulled out or whatever.) Idk, it will just be interesting to see what happens from here!
Nicks’s news: So is Russia actually gonna invade Ukraine?
This story was written by Squish (my brother Nick) which is cute as hell.
We’ve talked about this on The Shit Show in the past, and we said that we would keep you updated if anything major happened in regards to this, and I feel like now is about the right time.
I’ll give you a quick rundown on the last week or so with the Russia Ukraine situation: Things have been simmering away, and on the 12th of Feb, President Biden spoke to Putin on the phone for about an hour. Now, we don't know a whole lot about what they said on the phone call, but a senior US official said the call bought “no fundamental change” to the situation [Luce note: are we surprised???], although the two leaders did agree to stay in contact over the coming days.
In addition to this, the US gave the Russians a taste of their own information warfare vodka, by gaining access to one of the Russians plans and releasing it. The alleged plan was for Russia to create a fake video of a staged attack by Ukranians on Russian soil, or against Russian speaking people in the east of Ukraine as a “pretext for the invasion.”[Luce note: how embarro that a whole ass country has to plan to create a fake video to justify their silly littl- HUGE - actions.]
Luce’s addition to this story
I know I knew this, but I was still shook when I saw a TikTok that showed me JUST HOW CLOSE Russia and the US (Alaska) are (at the closest point about 4kms!!!)
Some maps look like this, which in my head makes them look as far apart as they could possibly be:
But since the earth isn’t flat (sorry) LOOK HOW CLOSE THEY ACTUALLY ARE:
And a fun fact - a bunch of you messaged me to say that Sarah Palin (ex-governor for Alaska) said she ‘could actually see Alaska from her house’ - that was actually Tina Fey on SNL dressed as Sarah Palin, and that line has gone down as one of the ‘The 10 most famous things never actually said.’ Palin did say, however, to ABC’s Charlie Gibson, that “they’re [Russia] our next-door neighbours, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.” So you can’t see Russia from her house, but you can see the Russian island of Big Diomede from the Alaskan island of Little Diomede on a clear day.
Squish and I talk more about Russia and what it’s like in Ukraine right now on this weeks episode of The Shit Show!
Prince Andrew, Avocado Bans & Scomo's Singing - The Shit Show — open.spotify.com
Come for the news updates, stay to hear Scomo butcher 'April Sun In Cuba'
A fucking beautiful interview with Andrew Garfield
I made some time to sit down and read this interview with Andrew Garfield yesterday and I’m so glad I did. You can read the whole thing here, but I wanted to share with you some of my favourite bits:
On realising that you have a human body, and you can’t do it all:
“Yeah, flexing your limitation. And one of the keys in what we do [acting, art, drama ]is we get to feel like we are extending beyond that human body, that human limitation, and we are touching something divine in what we do, if we’re lucky—or at least we’re reaching for it. But then what goes up must come down, and we have to honor the human body as well, so it’s a constant process.”
On his love for creativity and watching other people do what they love:
“I love learning about other artists’ processes so much; I don’t know why. It’s like a magpie-collecting hobby of mine. I find it incredibly inspiring, and just as a human being, I’m like, God, I love people. I love it when people devote themselves to something that is greater than themselves, and they work at it.”
“So to be in line with and to join in that creativity is, I think, maybe the highest calling. I think it’s all of our callings, to whatever degree or in whatever context, in whatever corner of the garden we’re meant to tend. And we know it. We know when we’re in the right corner, you know what I mean? We can feel it. We can feel it in our bones. Our blood starts to flow, our cheeks flush, we get that feeling of spring in our bodies, and we come alive. We can feel it when we’re close to the shoreline of ourselves, and then it’s harder to identify when we don’t feel it. It’s a strange thing.”
On grief, losing his mother, and Jonathan Larson (the playwright who he played in Tick… Tick… Boom!):
“We all leave. We all die with an unfinished song, and that’s the setup. None of us complete. None of us finish the symphony. There’s a few notes left to be done, if we’re lucky.”
“I think about the unfinished song. I do think about my mother. I think about a mentor of mine, Mike Nichols, who passed away in his eighties and was in the middle of prepping his next film. He was in the middle of his favorite pasta dinner with his favorite person on earth, his beautiful wife, Diane Sawyer. I think, Oh, what would that project have been? My mum was in the middle of knitting eighteen different things for her grandkids—and so it’s all these unfinished songs.”
“And then the responsibility, the beautiful responsibility you feel when someone whom you’ve had the privilege of connecting with in a very, very deep and profound way is no longer physically incarnate here. The grief you feel, the privilege of that grief leaves me with a great, never-ending yearning to honor that person for the rest of my time. I’ve had that with a few people. I have it with Mike. I have it with my mother and a couple of others.”
He’s such a talented thinker that dude. You should read the whole interview here!
How the hell do you eat a corn chip?
Pointy side or base side first??? The results were:
76% are pointy enders
24% are base enders
A lot of you said it depends on dip or no dip - for me it depends on how many bites of the chip you're willing to take. If you go pointy side first, you gotta do it in two bites, otherwise the pointy bit will hit the back of your throat/ it's an actual safety hazard. But if you're going for the whole chip in one bite, it's straight side first for sureeeeee.
Prince Andrew, Avocado Bans & Scomo's Singing (The Shit Show)
Lovebombing, "The Ick," & WTF is Ye up to? (Culture Vulture)
'Garbage trends' clog the internet — and they may be here to stay (NPR)
Massive “coffeetech” investments are giving startups a jolt (Rest Of World)
How “lol” and “lmao” Became Punctuation Marks (InsideHook)
Online Dating, Without the Apps (The Cut)
GET A 14 DAY FREE TRIAL TO WATCH EUPHORIA OR YELLOWJACKETS! (Neon)
You can listen to us talk about all things pop culture on Culture Vulture, about THE WORLD on The Shit Show or watch us explain the internet on Extremely Online.
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