How To Make ✨Excuses✨
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Yesterday Rubes and I were both wearing different shades of pink and it was the cutest thing ever because the first lady we saw told us we were pretty in pink, and called us the 'pink ladies' and then we were walking down the street and a guy told us we were beautiful - how's that as a start to your day??!!
Today that's your challenge - if you think something nice about someone - TELL THEM!!! It's the best thing you can do and honestly, it can make someone's day (like these two pink ladies 🥺🥺)
And my compliment to you is that you are the most encouraging, kind, and entertaining bunch of people on the planet (and I sincerely believe this.) Every day my inbox is a celebration of your wins and a lil door into your lives - I don't take for granted for a second that so many of you open this newsy every day and legit take the time to respond to me 🥺🥺
Cases in point (and these are just from yesterday!!):
[Luce note: It's currently the middle of the night and for some reason I have been *puke warning* ✨throwing up,✨ so I'm just gonna be sending this newsy out with whatever it contained from the night before - sorry!!]
Bel Chimes In: On how to make excuses and get away with things
An update on Sri Lanka
Twitter has taken Elon to court
Emmy noms!
Bel Chimes In: On how to make excuses and get away with things
This section is written by my crush, the refreshing-as-a-house-chardonnay-on-a-steamy-day, Bel Hawkins. You should check out more of her beautiful words here.
[Luce note before we get into it - it makes me lol every week after Bel's chimes, just how many of you are slowly picking up on the pun 'Bel Chimes In!!' Let me spell it out for you: Bel sounds like bell 🔔, and what do bells do? They 🎶chime.🎶 And what is Bel doing in the newsy each week? 🎶Chiming🎶 in. SORTED?? LOVE YOU.]
Firstly, simply j'adored your responses to last week's Chime! If you're ever in need of validation of your decision to follow your own arrow in this world, you know who to call (me).
This week I'm missing Luce's vibrant energy breezing in through the door each day while she's in Sydney and in her absence, have been loling at a list in my head about all the types of excuses we make to get out of plans we've made.
Just imagine — there was once a time in the world where instant communication didn't exist and you couldn't bail on plans. Hell for me, to think you'd have to follow through 100% on everything you say you'd do, or else leave someone stranded outside a train station carrying a suitcase and a ghosty wind blowing through, wondering where you are.
SO. How do you get out of plans and stay sane in this world? I'm often frozen by what I'm going to affectionately call plan-xiety, which is anxiety around making plans and not being able to follow through with them (ya gal's got Chronic Fatigue after all). In a dream world, we have more time, more energy and are reliable beings. In the meantime, there are these (and some which I do not recommend using):
Blame the bear market
Honestly, a great option at the moment. If you're into Web3 you could also cite the 'crypto winter' as a reason you can't afford to go out. An endearing red flag, in my humble opinion.
Cite Covid
An oldie, but a goodie. Indisputable too. Gives you permission to fall off the face of the earth for your country's mandated period of isolation. The downside: you must not then leave your house for that entire time.
Ghost
We've talked about this. You are a human. Not an extraterrestrial being. Do not get the two confused. Do not partake in this torture.
Triple dot
Arguably worse than ghosting people is half-typing a reply, and never hitting send. Made worse by writing, deleting, then never responding. Straight to the ghost graveyard you go!
Make a stew
Ok, a terrible excuse, but I just wanted to add it in here as one of my friends used it years ago to get out of a terrible date where the guy spent the whole time talking about how much he'd made playing online poker. The bar was bleak. The weeknight dripped like coarse sand through the hourglass. All of a sudden she realised she had to go home to get up early the next morning to make a stew. The best bit? He believed her. They never had to make plans ever again.
Deploy the 'Upfronting' technique
This is my current favourite and I'm keen to make it sexy/go viral. It basically means to be upfront about your current state when making plans. So someone in your group chat might be like 'let's meet for dinner this week' and you can respond like, 'conceptually yes, in reality, I might be chewed up by capitalism/my job/the simple exhaustion of living by then so it's a tentative yes but I have warned you and please don't be upset if I can't make it.'
Of course, you can always tell the truth, which is best served hot and sweet. Sorry for letting you down. I love you. Bear with me. Hope to see you soon! x
An update on Sri Lanka
So, after protesters stormed the Sri Lankan president’s house leading him to step down, President Rajapaksa and his brother (the finance minister) have reportedly fled the country. The President has flown to the Maldives (along with his wife and two security officials) and his brother has gone to the US.
Since he’s outies, President Rajapaksa has asked parliament’s Speaker to nominate a new prime minister who is "acceptable to both the government and opposition," and made Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe acting president. His first move as acting president??? Declare the country as in a state of emergency.
Twitter has taken Elon to court
After Elon announced he was pulling out of his Twitter deal, Twitter, naturally, threatened to sue. And sue they are, because they’ve gone ahead and taken Elon to court. Here’s what the Delaware lawsuit says:
"Having mounted a public spectacle to put Twitter in play, and having proposed and then signed a seller-friendly merger agreement, [Mr] Musk apparently believes that he - unlike every other party subject to Delaware contract law - is free to change his mind, trash the company, disrupt its operations, destroy stockholder value, and walk away," said the lawsuit.”
Musk’s response?
Which is possibly in reference to this tweet of his a few days ago:
New Episode of Culture Vulture
Doja Cat, Noah Schnapp, & Elvis — open.spotify.com
This week we start off by explaining Doja Cat's weird beef with Noah Schnapp, before launching into our main topic of the day - what was missing from Baz Luhrmann's Elvis movie.
Even though Austin Butler slayed, the film still fell short in a few places - we discuss how!
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Doja Cat, Noah Schnapp, & Elvis (Culture Vulture)
Our Love Island Debrief (Culture Vulture)
SYSCA playlist (✨Supporters only✨)
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