I Am That Goblin Girl
Mōrena lil shits!!
Omg Liv and I recorded you the most interesting episode of Culture Vulture yesterday, all about inner monologues, and all the different ways we think/ see/ visualise stuff! It’s going to be out on Wednesday and I can’t wait for you to listen to it!!
I also did another really embarro thing. My flatmates and I are coming to the end of our lease, so we’ve been in comms with our property manager (who for the record is our age and really cool.) Anyway last night we were all in a ✨goofy✨mood, and I was about to respond to one of her emails when the boys had an excellent idea. They wanted me to send a response saying “this is how flexible we are!” with a photo of them… being flexible (i.e. Tom tries to do the splits & Hayd touches his toes.)
For the 10 minutes that I was in this mood, I thought it was a good idea, and because I am impulsive and impatient as hell, we not only took the photo, but we actually sent it. Here’s what our poor property manager got as a response last night:
Hayden did in fact point out (after I’d sent it) that this photo implies that we’re… not that flexible.
Anyways, I’m mortified.
PS! A huuuuge thank you to everyone who always clicks our links/ responds to the ads in the newsy - you know we only partner with people we really give a shit about (which means we turn down a bunch of offers!) so when you engage with the ads we do run it makes me super 🥺🥺🥺 and helps us a bunch!!
In today’s newsletter:
WTF is ‘goblin mode’
A Russia/Ukraine update
The Two Most Dismissive Words on the Internet
Golden Syrup or Maple Syrup?
'That Girl' vs 'Goblin Mode'
“Matcha lattes, 10-step skincare routines and Dyson Airwraps begone. It’s time to embrace the chaos made possible by goblin mode: the ultimate anti-aesthetic, giving the finger to the self-improvement movement.”
I have never been 'That Girl', so I must be, in fact, a goblin - or at least that’s what this piece in The Face is trying to tell me. Goblin mode is described here as the “spiritual rejection of “that girl” aesthetic” (‘that girl’ is a term for someone who looks like they have every single bit of their shit together, and actually, they never shit. But if they did it would smell like something Goop sells.) It feels like it's rooted in the Girlboss/hustle/rise and grind culture that I thought we’d all sorta grown up from - but damn, the 3billion+ views on the 'That Girl' hashtag on TikTok would say different!!
“Enter: goblin mode, the ultimate anti-aesthetic and most effective form of resistance against cookie-cutter purveyors of squeaky-clean living.”
According to The Gobli- I mean - The Guardian, Goblin mode can be described as leaning in to “the comforts of depravity and a departure from the ‘cottagecore’ influence of early pandemic days.”
A real-life goblin describes it as: “when you wake up at 2am and shuffle into the kitchen wearing nothing but a long T-shirt to make a weird snack, like melted cheese on saltines. It’s about a complete lack of aesthetic. Because why would a goblin care what they look like? Why would a goblin care about presentation?”
I describe it as… me most weekends.
I actually disagree with the first line I wrote for this section - I think I’m a healthy mix between girl and goblin. I love to slob around and scroll on TikTok, but at the same time, if I’m not asleep before 11pm then I would be absolutely no good to any of you, so I do have goblin-girl boundaries.
On a more serious note, this does kinda feel like just another way to flatten ourselves, so see ourselves in a way where we are ‘one or the other’ which I’m not really a fan of. You are you! You are multiple things! If you have a productive week but spend the weekend hungover you’re not a goblin! You are a person!
I also don't love how 'goblin mode' feels pretty closely tied to the way we act when we're not feeling our best, or when we're struggling with our mental health - you know, when you're that low that looking after yourself feels impossible??? (let's not forget that these feelings are exacerbated by the guilt of not being 'That Girl' that you're seeing all over TikTok.) I don't know if giving it a ✨fun✨ name is the best way to help people move out of these states, or if I've genuinely thought too much about this and am being a #sensitive #snowflake???
It feels super ‘That Girl’ for me end this segment by telling you that some days you'll feel like a girl, and some days a goblin (because life is all about balance) but whether you’re that girl or that goblin, you're perfect to me 💘
🔥Get financially lit(erate) 🔥
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An update on Ukraine/Russia via the BBC
Today's updates via the BBC:
In Kyiv, eight people are reported dead in shelling on a residential area and shopping centre
The mayor of Kyiv announces a curfew in the city from 2000 local time on Monday to 0700 local time on Wednesday
Russian naval forces shell some residential buildings on the edge of Odesa, Ukrainian authorities say
Ukraine ignores Russia's demand that it gives up the city of Mariupol, saying there is "no question of any surrender"
Russia had offered to give civilians and fighters safe passage out of the city as long as they gave up their weapons
Ukraine's president has accused Russia of war crimes in Mariupol, where heavy fighting has now reached the city centre
An estimated 90% of the city's buildings have been damaged or destroyed, 300,000 people remain trapped
Via the Kyiv Independent:
I have never related so hard to a tweet
The Two Most Dismissive Words on the Internet
"How to instantly end an argument—or maybe just start a new one."
When I clicked on this headline I was ready to be like ‘ugggggh’ another person with a hot take on the latest internet words (and before you ask, the two words aren’t ‘goblin mode’) but I was pleasantly surprised. The words in question here are ‘go off,’ and rather than giving his hot take, the author, Caleb Madison, gives a very quick history of the phrase - it used to just be used to describe weapons… going off, then it was a sarcastic internet phrase where you’d respond to someone’s take saying “actually, I think this thing to be true, ‘but go off, I guess.’” For me, I mostly use ‘go off’ in a positive way, like… you succeed in something and text me about it?? I’m gonna clap and say ‘go off bestie!!!’ Or something you’ve written is really landing??? Damn, go off!!
Caleb Madison, who wrote this piece (it’s actually taken from his newsletter) is actually the crossword editor at The Atlantic (and you all know how much I love crosswords) and his newsletter deep dives into his favourite crossword clue that week. I’m gonna subscribe because this is a ✨possibly niche ✨ but great idea for a newsletter, and I love word stuff. Go off Caleb!!
Golden Syrup or Maple Syrup?
It seems we have a lot of Canadians in the audience!
15% said golden
85% said maple
All of your most embarrassing period stories (The Shit Show)
Why does gossipping feel so good? (The Face)
Bored Ape Universe (Dirt)
Securing the TikTok Vote (NY Times)
Why the HELL is fuel so expensive right now? (The Shit Show)
The Complicated Life of Kanye West, Part 2: Kim, Trump & Mental Health (Culture Vulture)
You can listen to us talk about all things pop culture on Culture Vulture, about THE WORLD on The Shit Show or watch us explain the internet on Extremely Online.
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LOVE YOU THE MOST, LUCE XX
