"I'm 21 and I've never been on a date. How the HELL do I do it?"

this may not be your mother’s advice, but it's the advice you deserve.

Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot, or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white) drop your question here and we might just answer it!

Bel, help!

I’m 21 and have never been on a date, let alone any of the other “normal” things someone my age has done. How do I put myself out there even though I feel embarrassed about my lack of experience and I have no clue what I’m doing?

Dear Clueless,

Thank you for trusting me with this close-to-the-beating-heart dilemma. Can’t it be the worst feeling in the world? As though you’re missing out on the parts of life you were promised but haven’t happened? 

But I need to reassure you this right now — we’re all just aliens bumping into each other trying to make meaning out of things, feel hot and real and alive, control what we can, and be less anxious about the planet on fire. You are not alone.

Let me give you some literal tips from a real-life romantic woman who recently went on a date to a medieval bar, made out on the street and woke up with a horrendous mead hangover the next morning.

First, I’ll answer your literal question - how do you go on a first date?