"I'm the only single person in my friend group and it SUCKS"
How do I not feel like the clingy friend wanting to hang out all the time?
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot, or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white) drop your question here and we might just answer it!
Hey Bel, I'm the only single friend in my friend group, and I've noticed a shift since the last one got into a relationship. My working theory is that they all get social time with their partners, so they don't think about messaging the group to hang out as much anymore. It sucks because I'm struggling, and I miss them, but I don't want to always feel like I'm the one reaching out, especially when I'm the only one who needs support from the group. Any advice?
Dear Kathy Heigl (27 Dresses reference),
Firstly, I’m really sorry to hear you’re struggling. I hope I can help.
And secondly, welcome.
Welcome to one of the great aches of getting older, which is that there are periods of time when you want to go out experimenting with chaos and possibilities until the sun comes up (or, at the very least, the kinds of adventures good company create) and, instead, it feels like everyone else is at a dinner or a ‘thing’ with their partners’ family and can’t reply until tomorrow afternoon, on Sunday, right before you have to go back to work.
It’s like that Sex And The City (yes, being that girl, using this as the set text) episode where they get an invitation to an engagement party says, ‘Two souls, one thought’ and they’re like… what?
And you’re like
Wait, what happened to us?
‘Us’ has changed, my friend, as everything in life does. But everything is most definitely not over. Here’s what I think you can do: