"I've just started uni and I'm failing at something for the first time in my life."
On dealing with first time failure.
Wait, But What? is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot, or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white) drop your question here and we might just answer it!
“Eek, Bel, would love your advice! I started uni this year, and I’m failing (academically) for the first time in my life. I knew it would be hard, but I’ve always been good at this sort of thing. How do I bounce back from failure and stop feeling like I’ve disappointed everyone? How do I make sense of all these complicated feelings?”
Dear started from the top,
Ugh, this was such an ache to read because it reminded me of one of my own personal failings. I hated my first year at uni and threw all my attention into applying for a prestigious art school to study painting instead. This was the answer! I was meant to be a painter! Not an industrial designer! All my problems would go away once I had a brush in hand! Duh! I worked insanely on my portfolio, and then, five days before Christmas, I got a letter saying I’d been denied entry. It was an extremely soul-crushing moment I remember driving to the beach and crying on the sand all afternoon until it got dark and I had to go home and face it.
But this isn’t about me; it’s about YOU, and this is what I think is useful to think about in this ~ liminal state ~:
Firstly, just some reassurance that starting uni is such a strange life stage