Luxury Surveillance & Lindsay Lohan
Mōrena lil shits!!
I have some updates for you! Since so many of you loved the ‘this is how flexible we are!’ message, I would like to report back that our property manager found it funny, and loved Hayden’s orange crocs.
Also, as a reminder of how small the world/ New Zealand is, I got a response from Georgia who looked at the photo I attached yesterday and realised I’m living in her old house!?
“Hi Luce!
This feels so random and a bit weird but also very cool - from the photo you shared of your flatties, it looks like you're flatting in our old family home. It's a super cool, really 70s place?! Our parents sold it about a year ago but we had my baby shower there, my sister's 21st, lots of Christmases and family times.”
And here's my Dads response to my ‘Goblin Mode’ section yesterday:
He really did miss the point of the whole section, didn’t he?
AND FINALLY, one of you sent me this fucking amazing podcast episode all about the five best characters in The Simpsons, which I listened to yesterday and adored, so I’m passing on the rec!
Top 5 Everything on Apple Podcasts — podcasts.apple.com A show for cultural obsessives and pedants, providing totally subjective (but objectively correct) rankings of books, films, movies, music, architecture, art, and just about anything else our guests are passionate enough about to put on a list and fire into the infinite.
✨ PS!! I’ve had a few people reaching out wanting to advertise in the newsy - if you or the organisation you work for is interested in renting some space to chat to over 50k of the coolest humans on the planet, hit us up (or just reply to this email!) ✨
In today’s newsletter:
New concept alert: Luxury Surveillance
The best movie of all time
Inner monologues - explained
A Russia/ Ukraine Update
Kylie Jenner changed her son’s name
What is golden syrup?
Ect or Etc?
Something I’ve been thinking about: Luxury Surveillance
I started thinking about this concept called ‘Luxury Surveillance’ again yesterday, after reading this piece (from my beloved Embedded.) I first came across this concept while I was researching for an episode of Extremely Online about how our phones listen to/track us, and how most of us hate being tracked online - yet there are also a tonne of ways we opt into - or even pay - to be tracked.
‘Luxury Surveillance’ is essentially the idea that people pay for tracking technologies that other people would pay to be free of.
Let me explain. There are so many people in this world trying to escape surveillance. Just think about how Black and Brown people are stopped and watched by police at a far higher rate than white people. Or how Uyghur Muslims in Xinjiang live in a state that quite literally watches their every move. Now think about how many of us use Strava, where we willingly upload our running routes and running stats (I say our - I have never done this) or use a Fitbit to monitor our health and our routines - or how many of us use “find my iPhone" or Airtags?? We’re literally opting in - and paying for - an unprecedented level of surveillance (and one that a lot of people would pay not to have) - because it’s trendy, because being able to afford it reinforces our ‘place in society,' and because we see this level of tracking as ‘beneficial to us.’
Maybe this is a new concept to you, or maybe you’ve heard of it before, but sometimes it’s helpful to have names for things we see in our everyday lives (like the idea of Luxury Surveillance) so we can recognise the less obvious ways privilege manifests in us. There are also times when we don’t need a name for everything (see: Goblin Mode), but my job is to simply teach & talk about it all.
My favourite movie of ALL TIME
Yesterday I had the sudden urge to go back and watch one of my favourite movies of all time: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Now, as someone with a constant need to ‘keep up,’ for me to re-watch something that I’ve already seen maybe 50 times?? Well, that in itself is a testament to that thing. I still remember the first time I watched this movie… I went to Video EZY, rented the DVD, and from then on my life changed. This became my comfort watch, and it soon lived on my iPod touch so I could watch it on every long car journey or camping trip. Why do I love it so much? Well, where do I start? The fashion. The music. The fandom. The TALENT. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen has it all.
It’s about Lola Steppe (Lindsey Lohan) AKA the most main character-y main character to ever grace the planet. She moves to New Jersey and is wildly in love with her favourite band Sidarthur (at one point in the movie they end up at Sidarthur’s party and it’s like every fan's dream… kinda) There’s also a romance, a pretentious ‘it girl’ (played by MEGAN FOX), a best friend (Ella, we love you) a musical (so there’s theatre drama AND singing) and idk if I’m selling this to you but it’s just the best. Maybe it’s the nostalgia or maybe it’s because she loved Sidarthur the way I loved the Jonas Brothers, or maybe it’s because I always wanted to be a theatre kid and never was, but I felt so SEEN by it!! Also the soundtrack!?! Atomic Kitten, a Bowie cover, 2000s hit after 2000s and the best fictional band you’ve ever heard.
Looking back on it, I reckon Lola was who I wanted to be - or maybe who I thought I could be (Lola, Luce - it’s nearly the same already!) She wore what she wanted, said what she wanted, did what she wanted… she even met (and made quite the impact on) her favourite boyband. Lola was who I wished I was (even if she had some underlying stuff to reckon with… don’t we all), and now that I’m older I love that I had her to look up to! Because now I really do feel like I’m living my Lola - all that’s missing is me meeting Harry Styles and making a huuuuuge impact on his life. Baby steps tho.
AND ON ANOTHER NOTE, LOOK AT THIS GROSS REPORTING
During my ‘I need to consume everything there is to consume about this film” rampage, I opened a 2004 article in Rolling Stone titled “Lindsay Lohan: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.” It was written by a dude called Mark Binelli, and the lil subtitle says: “Forget those rumors about her breasts. This young lady has risen to the top of the teen-star crop by keeping it real.” Not the best start, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt I guess. Then, I scroll down and the first line is:
“LINDSAY LOHAN HAS BEEN EIGHTEEN FOR JUST UNDER A WEEK when she tells me her breasts are real. I did not ask (gentlemen never do), though my reporting (discreet visual fact-checking, a goodbye hug) seems to confirm her statement.”
I’m not one to get enraged on here (tbh I feel like the internet has, or needs to, move on from the enragement = engagement style of writing/being, but that’s another story) but this… this is something else. It takes me right back to Britney being photographed on her childhood bed in her bra (also for Rolling Stone.) Actually, Binelli brings up Britney later in this interview, saying:
“But you also seem to be less coy than, say, Britney Spears, who’ll be naked on the cover of a magazine but insist she’s not using sex to sell her records.
Lindsay: I mean, I look up to sex symbols: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe. So it doesn’t bother me if people call me that.”
So there’s that.
And then there’s this:
“There comes a time in the life of every teenage girl who works for the Disney Corp. when that girl realizes she has suddenly – how shall we phrase this? – “broadened her appeal.” For Annette Funicello, back on the original Mickey Mouse Club, that point came when boys began to notice the tightness of her regulation Mouseketeer sweaters. In more recent years, fallen Mouseketeers Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera recognized that music videos involving school uniforms and/or nude body stockings would exponentially increase fatherly, big-brotherly and creepy-uncle-y tolerance for music that’s pretty much unlistenable if you’re not a thirteen-year-old girl.”
And then this:
“For Lindsay Lohan – or, more accurately, for Lindsay Lohan’s breasts – the tipping point came somewhere after the 2003 remake of Freaky Friday. Lohan has been a charming screen presence in kid-friendly fare such as The Parent Trap (another Disney remake) and the subsequent Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. But suddenly, this year, it became socially acceptable to note that the redheaded child actress was hot.”
BREASTS ARE ALL WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT FOR THE FIRST 4 PARAGRAPHS. SHE’S 18.
I don’t think I even have to do any analysing here. In fact, I don’t really want to. But if you’re interested in seeing how the media looked in 2004 (and maybe understanding why Disney Stars had such a hard time growing up back then) you can check it out.
NEW CULTURE VULTURE EPISODE!
Dua Lipa's Lawsuits & Inner Monologues - Culture Vulture — open.spotify.com
When your reading this do you hear it? Or do you just read it?? Liv has an inner monologue and I don't - so we explain the differences in how we think, what the psychology is behind it, and what it means to have - or to not have - that inner speech.
We also chat about Dua Lipa's Dual Lawsuits, and give a very quick update on Ye. Listen wherever you get your pods!
An update on Ukraine/Russia via the BBC
Today's updates via the BBC:
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky says he has spoken to Pope Francis about the Vatican's possible role in mediating peace with Russia
The president tells Italian MPs Russia's forces want to break in to Europe
At least 10 hospitals have been completely destroyed and fierce fighting is continuing around Kharkiv and Mariupol, Ukraine says
Russian naval forces have started shelling the outskirts of Odesa, as part of efforts to cut Ukrainians off from the Black Sea
A Russian billionaire sanctioned by the UK says he no longer owns many former properties, potentially putting them beyond the reach of the law
US President Biden warns Russia's Vladimir Putin's "back is against the wall" and fears he may use chemical or biological weapons in Ukraine
Via the Kyiv Independent:
Kylie Jenner changed her son’s name
In their latest PR move (their new show must be hot on our heels) Kylie Jenner released a new video dedicated ‘to our son’ and then made a quick Instagram story to say that contrary to very popular belief, her son is not called Wolf anymore:
"FYI our son's name isn't Wolf anymore. We just really didn't feel like it was him. Just wanted to share because I keep seeing Wolf everywhere.”
That’s all.
What is golden syrup?
SO MANY OF YOU RESPONDED TO MY NEWSY YESTERDAY ASKING WHAT GOLDEN SYRUP IS. HERE IS YOUR ANSWER:
“It's a thick, smooth golden-colored syrup made from cane sugar that has a unique buttery scent and a light caramel flavor. It's less sweet than, say, corn syrup.”
Here in NZ we often use it in baking or as a substitute for maple syrup on pancakes (only when you’ve run out of maple tho.)
Hope that clears things up!
Do you naturally want to write 'ect' or 'etc'?
This caused so much anger in the comments yesterday... and for what???? Someone submitted this poll and I thought... so true! As a kid, I learnt the acronym before I learnt 'et cetera' and I would ALWAYS write ect instead of etc. Anyway:
14% of you had the same issue
86% of you are perfect and have never misspelt an acronym in your life
All of your most embarrassing period stories (The Shit Show)
Inner monologues: Explained (Culture Vulture)
'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen': Now that I'm 23, it's a different story. (Mashable)
Russia finds Meta guilty of 'extremist activity' but WhatsApp can stay (Reuters)
Dua Lipa’s Lawsuits: Explained (Culture Vulture)
Maharashtra: Rubber penis in family planning kit sparks row (BBC)
You can listen to us talk about all things pop culture on Culture Vulture, about THE WORLD on The Shit Show or watch us explain the internet on Extremely Online.
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LOVE YOU THE MOST, LUCE XX
