MAKE IT MAKE SENSE: How do I get my power back???
Doing all the right things and getting sick of feeling like you're going nowhere????
‘Make It Make Sense’ is our weekly advice column for paid supporters. If you’ve got a burning life question (whether it’s how to phoenix out of a dark spot or how to stand up to a boss who thinks you're just in the room to grab a flat white), drop your question here, and we might just answer it!
Bel! I've just ended my first love. It’s been months now, and I still feel like I'm stuck.
I'm doing all the right things - exercising, reading books, watching movies, socialising with more rigor than ever before, listened to Taylor Swift to the point of nausea. I'm focusing on myself and my future, and my friends, and my family.
I still feel stuck, though. I was hurt badly, and I don't know how to recover from it. I'm embarrassed to say it, but I feel like they took all of my power away from me, and they're so much older and wiser and never even cared in the first place. How do I get my power back after being hurt?
Dear Dido (‘White Flag’ reference),
God, isn’t this just the most frustrating feeling??
You’re like, I’m doing all the things Esther Perel wants me to and yet, here I am, still having a quick shower cry before work and a cheeky peruse of my exe’s stories under my desk at work when I should be sending an email that’s changing the corporate world.
I don’t want to tell you that the ache will end, because deep down you know this to be true, and you’ll also have everyone in your life already reminding you of it every single day.
Instead, I want to show you how much you don’t need this person to be who you will become (not who you are right now). You’re grieving a life you thought you were promised and will no longer get. What you don’t know yet (and understandably find it hard to believe) is the shimmery life it’s opened you up for on the otherside. Now, how to get there…