My Secret Joke Archives 💀
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Today’s newsy might be a little bit shorter because my little brother Ben is up here with me, and naturally I’ve been spending more time with him than I have in the news cycle!!
BUT I need to tell you all about a story he just reminded me of. So when I was at uni I had a thing called my 'joke archives' where every time I would make what I thought was a 'funny joke' I would get out the voice recorder on my phone and RECORD ALL THE DETAILS OF THE JOKE INTO MY PHONE. Literally, I would record the date, who I said the joke in front of (so that I could repeat it again in front of different people) and the details of it.
For example: "Date 27th of May. Joke said in front of: Tom, Hayden and Flo. Joke: *insert whatever my extremely funny joke was*"
I've gone back and listened to a few of my archives and honestly???? I'm pretty funny.
PS, thank you for all your love and kind words yesterday, you each brought me a little bit of joy, and I hope you found some too <3
WE HAVE SOMETHING EXCITING TO GIFT YOU TODAY! If you’re a monthly or annual ✨SYSCA Supporter✨ then we are opening up our souls to you and gifting you some 🎶playlists🎶 (if you're already a recurring supporter you should have gotten an email about it yesterday)!! Liv, Rubes and I all made an individual playlist of the songs we love (and the songs that formed us) and honestly - I’ve had mine on repeat for DAYS. You’ll be able to access them here, and if you’re not a supporter yet, but want to get your hands on all these bonuses, you can become one here!!
What supporters are saying about the playlists:
Michelle: “Luuucee anybody with Can’t Fight the Moonlight on their playlist is immediately my best friend. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.”
Lily: “luce, we have the same wonderful taste in music. this is incredible thank you.”
Allison: "Ahhhhhhh these are amazing—but please especially give my compliments to Chef Ruby for cooking up a playlist that is s e n d i n g m e"
Hannah: “This is the greatest thing. Of all things. At this moment right now. I've been CRAVING new music (cheers Hazza for helping me out) but I don't trust spotify playlists because the ones they recommend to me I never seem to enjoy!!! So thank you. Off I go to listen!”
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The faces from China’s Uyghur detention camps
Seth Green Created A TV Show Around His Bored Ape NFT, Then Someone Stole It
New episode of The Shit Show!!
A morning missile update
Kate Moss testified in the Johnny Depp/ Amber Heard trial
I got lazy so you get horoscopes
Seth Green Created A TV Show Around His Bored Ape NFT, Then Someone Stole It
So to save a lot of you from becoming 🐒bored apes🐒, I'm not going to explain what Bored Apes are to you all again BUT, they are the gift that keeps on giving - because they keep getting stolen. The latest ape theft victim is none other than Seth Green, who actually created a whole ass TV show based on his Ape.
"On Twitter, Green broke the news of his stolen and resold NFT assets. The scammer grabbed a Bored Ape, two Mutant Apes, and a Doodle. The assets were ripped from Green’s wallet after he accidentally interacted with a scam site."
Unfortunately (for Seth), the dude who bought the stolen ape (an Australian surgeon) says they “bought it in good faith” and has no plans to give it back.
But what about the TV series?
Well, it's possible that Seth has now lost his license to commercially adapt the monkey, so it's kind of a hostage situation while he tries to get back his 'kidnapped' ape (ironically, this story would probs make for an okay-ish tv show. I wouldn't watch it, but someone might.)
PS, here's a trailer for the original show:
The faces from China’s Uyghur detention camps
I've talked a bit about the detention camps in Xinjiang China in this newsy over the past year, but we only get little bits of info every few months, which is why I think this terrifying situation often goes off our radars. But, just recently the BBC received thousands of photographs "from the heart of China’s highly secretive system of mass incarceration in Xinjiang," as well as uncovering a "shoot-to-kill policy for those who try to escape."
The Xinjiang Police Files, as they’re being called, were passed to the BBC earlier this year. After a months-long effort to investigate and authenticate them, they can be shown to offer significant new insights into the internment of the region’s Uyghurs and other Turkic minorities.
Authorities claim that these are 're-education camps' - but we know they're not, and now you can see for yourselves exactly who is being detained.
You should go and read, and look, and learn about these people here.
New episode of The Shit Show!
Monkeypox, & America's Latest School Shooting — open.spotify.com
Another week, another tragedy because America won't do anything to change their stupid as fuck gun laws. We're sad and mad this week, but come and learn a thing or two with us <3
A morning missile update!
I used to do these all the time but I haven't done one in a while! North Korea are our missil-ers today - they've just launched three ballistic missiles, only a day after Joe Biden left the region after chats about... deterring them from firing off missiles. Considering Air Force One hadn't even touched back done on U.S. tarmac when they fired them off, this was defs an attempted Big Dick Energy move from North Korea... but since they really should be more focused on the covid emergency they're facing atm, I don't think many people are impressed by this. But what do I know? I don't run a country.
YOU GET COOL AND EXCLUSIVE BONUSES 🥺
Kate Moss testified in the Johnny Depp/ Amber Heard trial
Content warning: abuse.
I won't be covering this in detail here because Liv and I are going to do a follow-up episode of Culture Vulture when the trial is over, and when we have all the context we need to be adding meaningful discussion (you can listen to our first episode on the trial here.)
But if you want to read about what happened when Kate Moss took the stand, you can here.
I am lazy so you get horoscopes
Here!
Monkeypox, & America's Latest School Shooting (The Shit Show)
Harry Styles, Heartstopper & Taylor Swift's Speech (Culture Vulture)
SYSCA playlist (✨Supporters only✨)
Our HUGE SYSCA reading list! (✨Supporters only✨)
Time 100 (Time)
Sue Gray report: Drunken No 10 party culture in lockdown laid bare (BBC)
On Discord, Music Fans Become Artists’ Besties, Collaborators, and Even Unpaid Interns (Pitchfork)
