💋Never Been Krissed 💋
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Angels - before we get into it I have to show you one of the BEST responses I’ve ever received to one of these newsies:
I'm well old enough to be a nana. I was thinking that I lived (still living) through several of the major culture changes of C20th (second wave Feminism, sexual revolution, beginning of Pop Culture) and now in the Newsy, I can read another generational culture change.
You young women are the light for the future. I really love that you are articulating all the things, things that the generations before you didn't speak about except to each other one to one, or in our cliques. Periods, belittling, before our eyes, glass ceiling - just from this Newsy today. This articulation of wrong is what's so right here. Go you young women.
Now, it’s weekend update time! I had quite a chill one this weekend - on Saturday I read some more of ‘The Knife Of Never Letting Go’ which apparently a bunch of you all read when you were younger and LOVED! I caught up on Love Island (our second debrief is coming at you today), I cleaned my room, I got my friend to chop my hair (ps if anyone knows of someone in Tāmaki Makaurau who can do blonde foils/ regrowth for a price that won’t literally break my bank PLZ let me know… we’re in a Bear Market after all…) and then we decided to have some pals over to watch the rugby at our place. In excellent news, the Crusaders won (I may live up in AKL, but I’m a southern gal through and through.) The night ended with the boys having a water fight at 1am and breaking Flo’s monitor with a BB gun, so just a typical night really.
On Sunday Flo and I got up and went to get our favourite brekky of all time - the Cilbir eggs from Honeybones (let me put you ON to them). We also made a dent in our crossword (one thing about me - if we’re getting brunch, you’re DOING a crossword with me) and put off going back to the chaotic flat.
When we got home I cleaned the bathroom (it was my week this week), played ‘Running Up That Hill’ on my lil guitar for like an hour, got through a few of my unread magazines (I’ve had no time to read them in weeks and it’s STRESSING me out) and cooked dinner for my flatties. An unextraordinary but wholesome weekend.
My world’s on fire, how bout yours?
I’ve been getting Krissed left, right and centre
Snoop Dogg has given his ‘professional blunt roller’ a pay rise due to inflation
President Biden Fell Off His Bike But Did Not Hurt Himself
‘I Declare Bankruptcy!’ Says Revlon
Justin Bieber Takes the Summer Off to Recover From Facial Paralysis
Is a pie sweet or savoury?
My world’s on fire, how bout yours?
A few fires to report on today. First, huge fires burned through a Shanghai chemical plant, killing at least one person. These fires occured in one of China’s biggest refining and petrochemical plants, and footage looks quite intense.
Next, wildfires are occurring in Spain, Spain, Portugal, Italy and France as Europe is facing a massive heatwave (it’s over 40 degrees celsius in some places!)
Via Axios:
“Spain's meteorological agency said Friday that it was the earliest heat wave in over 40 years, while France's weather service said it was the earliest ever to hit the country.
I’ve been getting Krissed left, right and centre
And I’m actually obsessed with it. It makes me laugh every time. It’s been dubbed ‘the new rickrolling’ but to me, it’s more similar to getting friccin beaned. ‘Krissing’ is when someone on TikTok starts telling a story as if it’s fact, but at the very end they attach a cursed video of Kris Jenner dancing to ‘Lady Marmalade’ with the caption: “You just got Krissed!”
I think the origin of the meme comes from this TikTok which shows a doctored pregnancy announcement from Zendaya, and while I hate the way misinformation spreads on TikTok, if you watch to the end it becomes extremely clear that you’ve been Krissed, and you should disregard it. This is probs just another of the million trends that we’re going to see this week, but it’s my job to keep you all up to date (even if you’re not on social media), so that’s what I’m doing!!
Snoop Dogg has given his ‘professional blunt roller’ a pay rise due to inflation
No one is immune from the rising prices of… basically everything - not even Snoop Dogg’s professional blunt roller. In this piece from Screenshot it’s reported that Snoop “who has made a name for himself outside of music for his avid use of the drug, first created the job position in 2019 when he found he didn’t have time to roll his own joints.”
After hiring his first PBR (professional blunt roller), he went on The Howard Stern Show, and talked about his salary:
“[It’s] somewhere between $40,000 (£31,000) and $50,000 (£39,900) a year. Free weed—all paid expenses. Everything I get, he gets. I go get some free clothes, I give him some.”
And he seems to be a pretty good employer, because he just confirmed that as times have changed in the world, so has his PBR’s salary:
I don’t know how much it went up by, but good to know he’s paying attention to the economy in these trying times.
New episode of The Shit Show!
BTS & Bear Markets - The Shit Show | Podcast on Spotify — open.spotify.com
No technical difficulties this week, hallelujah! We sit down to chat about BTS taking a break, wtf a 'Bear Market' is, McDonald's Russian rebrand, a new cancer treatment, and a mustard shortage! Tune in wherever you get your pods!
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President Biden Fell Off His Bike But Did Not Hurt Himself
Revlon Declares Bankruptcy
Revlon, the make-up brand that we all know (but apparently don’t love) has filed for bankruptcy in the states. They’ve blamed it on supply chain shortages, but it could also be because of how flooded the beauty industry swamp has become (I have no idea if that metaphor has landed here, but u feel me.)
It’s imp to note (hahahah) that by filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, Revlon will continue to operate, while it works out a plan to repay its creditors (it expects to receive $575m from its existing lenders.)
Justin Bieber Takes the Summer Off to Recover From Facial Paralysis
In case you missed it, Justin Bieber has been diagnosed with Ramsay Hunt syndrome, a condition that affects a nerve near the ear and causes facial paralysis. He shared a video to Instagram which showed that half of his face was paralysed, and although he’s starting to feel better, naturally he’s taking some time off touring. If you’re reading this, get well biebs xxx
When I say ‘pie’ do you think sweet or savoury?
I’m not surprised, but I am disappointed with these results:
60% of you think sweet, like an apple pie
40% of you think savoury, like a meat pie
PS, another example of me never having an original experience
The Dismantling of Hong Kong (Intelligencer)
Caviar ‘Bumps’ Are All the Rage (New York Times)
BTS & Bear Markets (The Shit Show)
Not Every Musician Wants To Be A TikTok Star (Culture Vulture)
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Our HUGE SYSCA reading list! (✨Supporters only✨)