the kids are failing in public
+ On GSCEtok, a live worm being found in a woman’s brain, & Bel's latest chime 𓆩♡𓆪
Good morning angels!!!! Yesterday ways Squish’s birthday and to celebrate he biked 100km (obv we are VERY different people.) An update on me - I’m still stuck in visa purgatory and was meant to be flying to Portugal to meet Bel on Monday but it looks like that is just NOT happening, so I’m the most impatient version of myself I have eveeeeeeer been!! To combat my current boredom I have been reading a LOT. IN the last two days I’ve read Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging, and No One Is Talking About This, as well as starting our September book club book, and a poetry collection called Head Girl, which included this beauty:
Anyway I’m feeling like a MANIAC and need some good vibes for an impatient gal, so plz send them my way xxxx
The kids are failing in public
Bel Chimes In: 🌴What everybody's doing on vacation🌴
A live worm was found in a woman’s brain
Eminem tells Republican Vivek Ramaswamy to stop rapping his songs
Luis Rubiales’ mother has locked herself in a church in southern Spain and declared a hunger strike in support of her son
New Zealand’s very own Liam Lawson will be driving again at Monza!
The kids are failing in public
When I was younger I would walk out of every exam and think that I’d done really badly, or at least that’s what I’d tell people. I was never confident in my answers, thought my essays were stupid and I sucked at studying - but I always did better than expected (actually, I always did pretty well.) But one thing I would have never envisioned doing would be reading my results in front of someone else, let alone PUBLICLY ANNOUNCING THEM TO THE WORLD. But, as with a lot of other things in 2023, we do the quiet part out loud now, including broadcasting our failures to the world. The phenomenon I’m talking about today is the broadcasting of GCSE results that took over my TikTok FYP yesterday. I saw scroll after scroll after scroll of students, often sitting in their car, reading out failed results (let it be known that I never saw a video of someone doing well in them, so the algorithm was definitely algorithming.)
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One of the videos was even of Rosie Mclelland (one half of the Sophia Grace and Rosie duo), who’d previously done an ad with Pearson to help sell revision guides and announced that she was going to revise and really attempt to pass her exams, only to have failed (either way, the content was getting views, so if nothing else her career as a content creator will benefit for a second.)
Of course, your grades (especially out of high school) don’t define you, and I’m not here to make anyone feel ashamed for not doing as well as they thought they would in their exams, I’m just saying that even though your results don’t define you, the video that’s gone viral of you sharing them might. Just something to consider!
This section is written by my crush, the refreshing-as-a-house-chardonnay-on-a-steamy-day, Bel Hawkins. She also writes our Sunday newsletter ‘No News is Good News’ which all our paying supporters receive. Upgrade your plan to get her newsy here!
🌴What everybody's doing on vacation🌴
Good morning crushes from the surf coast of Portugal, where I'm back chasing down my Blue Crush dreams and not wearing shoes for as long as possible like the Rat Girl I am. Now we're nearly at the end of the Euro Summer, and no one can simply BARE another azure water shot of a cove somewhere; I thought it'd be cute to give you a small taxonomy of vacation things I'm seeing everywhere.
Robbie Williams
In the car. At the airport. In the bathroom at the bar. Out of the stranger's phone speakers in the next room. No notes.
Tiny bags
Your bag is everything when you travel. It's who you are. It's what you do. It's for nefarities (new word, going with it, meaning bad or mischievous things) and necessities and nothing else except one thing that hardly fits and makes it unfashionable heavy. Extra points if you can sling it across body in a freshly-pressed white tee despite the rinsing humidity.
Lineless tans
No one knows where, no one knows how, but somehow everyone is bronzed within an inch of their life with not a white strap mark or awkward bra line in sight. One of life's great mysteries.
Phone necklace string things
Ambient. Happenstance. Content. At. Every. Opportunity.
Bike shorts/men's cotton boxers and an oversized tee
Lady Di Revenge Look energy meets extreme ergonomics meets I'm leaving the house of my crisp-sheeted summer fling.
A forlorn swan friend
Looking gutted to be there/secretly missing home but not wanting to give off the vibe that they're not having a good time.
Impossible outfits
People in the Trevi Fountain in outfits chicer than I ever wore to a school ball, awards night or wedding combined, at the peak heat of the day without a hair out of place. Incredible.
Captions around not having money, ignoring your credit card balance, not being able to afford anything stable at home so doing it anyway
The ultimate Cost of Living Crisis meets Who Cares Moments.
Old things remaining to be true
A simple denim short. A white shirt somehow kept clean. An acoustic cover of 'Stand By Me' at a tacky bar called something like 'Vibes'. A worn in pair of slides. A sunglass. A feeling like anything's possible, met with anxiety about whether you're having as good of a time as possible.
I love watching all of this because we're really all just imperfect specs of dust hurtling round trying to have a good time and prove it to ourselves and everybody else and look good and feel good and sometimes we can pull that off and sometimes life has its own ambling agenda...
Cool k love you, bye! See you this Sunday for 💌No News is Good News 💌 in the cutest corner of the internet. xox
A live worm was found in a woman’s brain
Ok this story grosses me out SO much but Normy really wanted me to include it and who am I to say no? In a WORLD FIRST, a live worm has been found in the brain of an Australian woman. It was 8cm long and was removed during a surgery last year after the woman had “for months suffered symptoms like stomach pain, a cough and night sweats, which evolved into forgetfulness and depression.”
Here’s the neurosurgeon’s POV as she was finding a literal live worm in a brain:
"I thought, gosh, that feels funny, you couldn't see anything more abnormal," said Dr Bandi.
"And then I was able to really feel something, and I took my tweezers and I pulled it out and I thought, 'Gosh! What is that? It's moving!"
"Everyone was shocked. And the worm that we found was happily moving, quite vigorously, outside the brain," she said.
For all the more sciencey stuff, you can read about it here!
Eminem tells Republican Vivek Ramaswamy to stop rapping his songs
Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy delivered an impromptu performance of “Lose Yourself” at the Iowa State Fair and Eminem is not happy about it. He (or his people) sent a letter to the performing rights organisation BMI requesting that Vivek doesn’t use his music anymore, and Vivek gave us a cringe and unfunny response:
More on this here if you care!
Luis Rubiales’ mother has locked herself in a church in southern Spain and declared a hunger strike in support of her son
The aftermath of Luis Rubiales’ inappropriate behaviour at the women’s football world cup continues, as his mother, in a “desperate attempt to defend her son,” has locked herself in the Divina Pastora church in Motril, southern Spain, and declared a hunger strike.
She won't stop, she says, until the authorities find a solution to the "inhuman and bloody hunt they are conducting against my son with something he doesn't deserve".
I’m not sure what this is going to achieve, as the UN has just publicly backed Jenni Hermoso after Rubiales kissed her, and a preliminary investigation into whether the incident amounts to a crime of sexual assault has been opened.
And to end with some good news, New Zealand’s very own Liam Lawson will be driving again at Monzaaaaa. Hell yeah!!!
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I honestly think Luis Rubiales' mother declaring a hunger strike is a disgusting manipulation tactic, but maybe I'm just a massive cynic. I'm so angry that this story has become all about him trying to paint himself as the victim of a smear campaign as if people aren't allowed to be authentically angry at his gross actions. I feel for Jeni Hermosa, she lead her country to the incredible feat of winning a world cup and that achievement is now tainted. I wish her all the best and hope Rubiales has the sense and humility to step down.
but how did the worm get in her brain??