the only recap of trump's first 100 days you should be reading

he really said ✘no✘ to human rights and ✓yes✓ to a diet coke button at his desk

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The only recap of Trump's first 100 days you should be reading

It’s been 100 days since Trump became president (again). Here’s all the cooked shit he’s done in that time.

General stupidity and total loserness:

• Added The Atlantic’s editor to a Signal group chat where they were casually chatting about classified war plans like it was a Sunday brunch thread - including CIA targets and Yemen strike times.

• Launched His Own Meme Coin, $TRUMP

  • A financial pyramid scheme.

• Brought back the infamous Diet Coke button – yep, the red one on his desk that summons a cold one on demand. First installed in 2017, removed by Biden, and now reinstalled like it's essential infrastructure.

• Framed his own mugshot outside the Oval Office – the 2023 Fulton County booking photo now hangs in the West Wing like it’s presidential art.

• Turned the White House Into a Tesla Showroom

  • Hosted an Elon Musk bootlicking party. America’s first Influencer-in-Chief moment.

• Publicly Displayed Migrant Mugshots on the White House Lawn

  • Dehumanising desperate people for Instagram likes. EVIL.

• Installed 100-Foot Flagpoles as Emotional Crutches

  • Compensatinggggggggg.

• Broke the record for most executive orders signed in a president’s first 100 days. 141 executive orders in 100 days. Governance by chaos. If you’d even call it governing.

• Created a new department called DOGE (yes, like the meme), officially the Department of Government Efficiency, led (briefly) by Elon Musk to “modernise” government, slash spending, fire thousands of federal workers, and monitor staff for anti-Trump sentiment.

• Turned the Oval Office into a gold-plated shrine to himself – swapped out historic decor for gold curtains, shiny furniture, and a literal painting of the assassination attempt… on him. It’s tacky as hell, like him.

Immigration:

• Signed an executive order on day one that turbo-charged deportations, defunded sanctuary cities, expanded ICE powers, and made it harder for migrants to access public services.

  

• Invoked a law from 1798 (yep, the 1700s) to deport Venezuelan nationals - some with no criminal records - under the guise of "gang affiliation."

• Expanded Guantanamo Bay to hold migrants. A place once known for torture is now being used to detain people fleeing hardship.

• Signed the “Laken Riley Act” to mandate the jailing of undocumented immigrants accused of certain crimes - even before being convicted.

• Launched a fresh war on sanctuary cities, threatening to cut funding to any place that tries to protect immigrants.

• Oversaw a spike in mass deportations - over 145,000 people arrested in just three months.

• Cancelled student visas and revoked work permits for Ukrainians and others, using paperwork as a weapon.

• Rebooted “Remain in Mexico” - forcing asylum seekers to wait outside the US while their claims are processed.

• Suspended the Refugee Admissions Program - closing the door to thousands of displaced people looking for safety.

• Accidentally declared over 6,000 living immigrants dead, revoking their Social Security numbers and shutting them out of banks, jobs, and basic services.

• Tripled workplace raids in states like Florida and Colorado - turning job sites into arrest zones.

Diversity and Inclusion:

He basically sent DEI to DIE.

• On Day One, Trump signed an executive order with a literal cartoon villain name (“Ending Radical and Wasteful Government DEI Programs”) and wiped out every federal program focused on fairness, access, or inclusion.

• Agencies were told to make lists of DEI staff - a move that led to people being suspended or fired just for doing equity work.

• He scrapped decades-old protections that stopped federal contractors from discriminating based on race, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

• At the Department of Education, civil rights offices were shut down, staff were let go, and schools were warned that talking about systemic racism might be flagged as “anti-white bias.”

• The Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division lost over half its staff, and its new mission was to hunt “woke ideology” instead of protecting actual people.

• Universities were told to ditch their DEI programs or risk losing federal funding. The culture war was fully enrolled on campus.

• Even museums and small businesses got hit - with funding cut from institutions supporting women, people of colour, and cultural history.

• The private sector followed suit, with companies like Walmart, Lowe’s, and Meta quietly walking back their own DEI commitments.

The Economy:

• Declared April 2 “Liberation Day” and dropped a bunch of chaotic tariffs - 10% on everything the US imports, and up to 145% on goods from China. This obv tanked the economy (which, yes, he celebrated), triggered a global trade standoff, made everyday stuff more expensive, and all because he wanted to “punish global freeloaders”... or something.

• BTW the egg prices are still rising

International Relation(ships):

• Cosplayed a high school bully in a televised meeting with Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelensky, telling him to “give up Crimea and stop whining,” calling him “ungrateful” and “disrespectful,” and accusing Ukraine of “dragging America into someone else’s war” - all on camera, with a smirk.

  • Then came the real-world consequences: Trump froze military aid to Ukraine and cast doubt on NATO commitments - moves that shook America’s allies and, according to one European official, “gave Putin the green light he’s been waiting for.”

• Tried to turn Gaza into a luxury resort. Remember that gross AI video where he floated a plan to literally bulldoze Gaza and turn it into a “Middle East Riviera.” He and Netanyahu were sipping cocktails poolside while Palestinians... disappeared? World leaders called it unhinged. Human rights groups called it what it was: ethnic cleansing in Canva font.

• Paused major foreign aid programs, including programs helping clear Agent Orange in Vietnam, supporting refugees in Thailand, and rebuilding disaster-struck areas.

• Handed Putin everything on a silver platter
  Told Zelensky to give up Crimea. Said Ukraine should stay out of NATO. Froze U.S. military aid. It was basically fan service for Putin, and left Europe wondering whether the U.S. could be trusted at all.

• When he says “America First” he means it sooo literally. He’s slashed UN funding, ditched global health orgs (like the WHO), pulled out of climate and human rights agreements (like the Paris Climate Agreement and the UN Human Rights Council), and bailed on international justice systems (like the International Criminal Court) – basically told the rest of the world to get fucked.

The Environment:

• Left the Paris Climate Agreement, again

• Gutted clean air and water rules

• Fast-tracked oil drilling like it was a race

• Basically handed ExxonMobil a friendship bracelet while the planet is begging for an inhaler.

  

I’m sure there’s more but I’m honestly sick of thinking about this man.