Will Smith's Pursuit of Slappyness
Mōrena lil shits!!
As if the world wasn’t chaotic enough right now, I just woke up to the news that we are getting a new Harry single on April 1st (he better not make me an April fool.) It’s gonna be called ‘As It Was’ and after it’s released, nothing will be.
Anyway last night I planned to drive to the wonderful Hawkes Bay and spend a week working from there with one of my besties, but as it happened I got in the car and was ✨far too tired✨ to do the whole journey, So, after about an hour of driving I stopped at one of my other besties houses for the night, and arrived just in time to see 👀 Will Smith slap Chris Rock 👀 at the Oscars (more on that below.) Moral of the story: do not drive tired and the world will reward you.
✨ PS!! I’ve had a few people reaching out wanting to advertise in the newsy - if you or the organisation you work for is interested in renting some space to chat to over 50k of the coolest humans on the planet, hit us up (or just reply to this email!) ✨
In today’s newsletter:
Microplastics have been found in human blood for the first time
Taylor Swift is getting an honorary degree from NYU
NEW HARRY SINGLE
Idk if you saw but Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars
A list of all the results (because yes, actual awards were actually given out amidst the drama)
Cold water is sharp and warm water is soft
Microplastics have been found in human blood for first time
How the HELL did I miss this? Microplastic pollution has just been found in 🩸human blood🩸for the first time, appearing in 80% of the people tested. According to the study:
Particles can travel around the body and may lodge in organs
The impact on health is as yet unknown
But was is known is that microplastics cause damage to human cells in the lab
What’s a microplastic??? How is this thing in my body?? Well, besties, since HUGE amounts of waste is just dumped all around the planet, we have started to consume✨ microplastics ✨which are “extremely small pieces of plastic debris in the environment, resulting from the disposal and breakdown of consumer products and industrial waste” - take a breath if you need (actually don’t, you’ll breathe in some plastic).
“People were already known to consume the tiny particles via food and water as well as breathing them in, and they have been found in the faeces of babies and adults.”
“A recent study found that microplastics can latch on to the outer membranes of red blood cells and may limit their ability to transport oxygen. The particles have also been found in the placentas of pregnant women, and in pregnant rats they pass rapidly through the lungs into the hearts, brains and other organs of the foetuses.”
Taylor Swift it receiving an honorary degree from NYU
Honorary degrees are random eh? For anyone who doesn’t know what one is, it’s an academic degree where a university (or other degree-awarding institution) has waived all of the usual requirements (luckkkkky) and given out a degree to an outstanding individual. So, in May, Taylor Swift is getting a Doctor of Fine Arts from NYU for simply being a legend, and she’s also gonna talk at the commencement ceremony at Yankee stadium. If she doesn’t sing Long Live (my fave song of hers that paints SUCH a picture for me of a high school graduation) then it’s a missed opportunity and she should hand that degree right back (or over to another genius... who writes a daily newsy and is really cool and funny...)
NEW HARRY SINGLE ON APRIL 1
This is all I know rn:
Idk if you saw, but Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars
And everyone has a take on it.

Here’s an excerpt from The Cut about what happened:
“Chris Rock arrived onstage to do some light roasting of the audience, including making a joke about Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz, but then he turned his eyes onto Will Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. “Jada, I love you, G.I. Jane 2, can’t wait to see it,” he said, making a crack about Jada’s shaved head look. Whoever he was going to turn on next was spared, as Smith then walked up on stage, went straight for Chris, and slapped him. In the U.S., the telecast was quickly muted, leaving many to wonder if what was happening was even real. Tweets from the media present and uncensored video from around the world quickly answered that question: Yep, it was very, very real.”
A bit of context: Jada has been vocal about living with alopecia (hair loss) since about 2018 when she first noticed she was losing handfuls of hair in the shower. Last year she made the decision ‘to be friends’ with it, shaving her head right down to her scalp, and has continued to speak about it since then.
About 15 minutes after the on-stage altercation, Will Smith went on to win the Oscar for Best Actor for his role in King Richard, and in his speech he said:
“Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family, in this time of my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world. I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people. I know to do what we do, you’ve got be able to take abuse, to have people talk crazy about you, you have to be able to have people disrespecting you, and you have to smile and pretend like that’s okay … I want to be a vessel for love.”
So we had someone cracking an insensitive joke about an illness (not good), which resulted in on-stage violence (not good), and also a room full of actors who gave like… no reaction really to any of it (not good)? I’m going to leave you to make your own call about this sitch, but here’s the beginning of some of the aforementioned wild takes we’re gonna start seeing:

In other Oscars news:
And here’s a wrap up of some of the other moments from the night!
Here’s a full list of results because I don’t want you to have to click out of my newsy 🥺🥺
(If it cuts off click ‘view entire message’) xxx
Best Picture
Belfast
CODA
Don’t Look Up
Drive My Car
Dune
King Richard
Licorice Pizza
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
West Side Story
Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson, Licorice Pizza
Kenneth Branagh, Belfast
Ryûsuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car
Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog
Steven Spielberg, West Side Story
Best Actor
Javier Bardem, Being the Ricardos
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog
Andrew Garfield, Tick, Tick … Boom!
Will Smith, King Richard
Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth
Best Actress
Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman, The Lost Daughter
Penélope Cruz, Parallel Mothers
Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos
Kristen Stewart, Spencer
Best Supporting Actor
Ciarán Hinds, Belfast
Troy Kotsur, CODA
Jesse Plemons, The Power of the Dog
J.K. Simmons, Being the Ricardos
Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog
Best Supporting Actress
Jessie Buckley, The Lost Daughter
Ariana DeBose, West Side Story
Judi Dench, Belfast
Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog
Aunjanue Ellis, King Richard
Best Original Screenplay
Belfast
Don’t Look Up
King Richard
Licorice Pizza
The Worst Person in the World
Best Adapted Screenplay
CODA
Drive My Car
Dune
The Lost Daughter
The Power of the Dog
Best Costume Design
Cruella
Cyrano
Dune
Nightmare Alley
West Side Story
Best Original Score
Don’t Look Up
Dune
Encanto
Parallel Mothers
The Power of the Dog
Best Animated Short
Affairs of the Art
Bestia
Boxballet
Robin Robin
The Windshield Wiper
Best Live-Action Short
Ala Kachuu — Take and Run
The Dress
The Long Goodbye
On My Mind
Please Hold
Best Documentary Feature
Ascension
Attica
Flee
Summer of Soul (… Or When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised)
Writing With Fire
Best Documentary Short
Audible
Lead Me Home
The Queen of Basketball
Three Songs for Benazir
When We Were Bullies
Best International Feature
Drive My Car, Japan
Flee, Denmark
The Hand of God, Italy
Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom, Bhutan
The Worst Person in the World, Norway
Achievement in Sound
Belfast
Dune
No Time to Die
The Power of the Dog
West Side Story
Best Production Design
Dune
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
The Tragedy of Macbeth
West Side Story
Best Film Editing
Don’t Look Up
Dune
King Richard
The Power of the Dog
Tick, Tick … Boom!
Best Cinematography
Dune
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
The Tragedy of Macbeth
West Side Story
Best Visual Effects
Dune
Free Guy
No Time to Die
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Best Makeup and Hairstyling
Coming 2 America
Cruella
Dune
The Eyes of Tammy Faye
House of Gucci
Best Animated Feature
Encanto
Flee
Luca
The Mitchells vs. the Machines
Raya and the Last Dragon
Best Original Song
“Be Alive,” King Richard
“Dos Oruguitas,” Encanto
“Down to Joy,” Belfast
“No Time to Die,” No Time to Die
“Somehow You Do,” Four Good Days
Is cold water sharp and warm water soft?
Yes
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