ceasefires and orgasms 🤝 both faked for male egos
i'm sorry if that title was click baity, but I do talk about ceasefires and orgasms in this newsy sooooo
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News time xxxxx
NOTE: I WROTE THIS BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP, BUT HAVE ADDED A FOLLOW-UP AFTER X
Trump ‘Saves the Day’ From the Fire He Lit
Ok, so Donald Trump has taken to Truth Social to announce that Israel and Iran have agreed to a “complete and total ceasefire.”
What Trump’s Saying:
He’s branding it “The 12 Day War,” as though it’s a fucking Netflix doco
He’s congratulating himself for ending a war that, in many ways, his administration just helped ignite.
What’s Actually Happening:
Several hours after Trump's announcement, the Israeli government confirmed it agrees to the ceasefire, and warned it will "respond forcefully to any violation"
Iran earlier said it would only stop its attacks if Israel did the same.
It’s a copy and paste out of the Trump Playbook:
Create chaos. Escalate tensions. Announce a resolution. Get applauded by MAGA for ‘saving the day’ - even though he’s the one who lit the match in the first place.
Update: Trump is crashing out because people aren’t following his ALL CAPS ceasefire order
Shocking absolutely no one, this ceasefire is already fraying at the edges.
What’s unfolded since I wrote that initial section:
Both Israel and Iran technically agreed to the ceasefire, but immediately accused each other of violating it.
Israel says Iran fired missiles after the deal was announced (Iran denies it).
Israel admitted they struck an Iranian radar site but reckons they’ve “refrained from further attacks” after a tense call between Trump and Netanyahu.
Trump crashed out saying that both sides “don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.”
This is moving too quickly for me to update you on, but here are the live updates!
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Wait: Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez are renting Venice???
Activists from Greenpeace and the group Everyone Hates Elon (lol that’s the actual name) have taken to the streets-or rather, the canals-of Venice this week to protest Jeff Bezos’ upcoming wedding to journalist, pilot, and entrepreneur Lauren Sánchez.
The pair are reportedly planning three days of celebrations in the iconic Italian city, with roughly 200 very famous guests, including Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, and Oprah. Oh, and the wedding ring alone is rumoured to be worth $5 million.
On Monday, protestors unfurled a giant banner in St. Mark’s Square reading: “If you can rent Venice for your wedding, you can pay more tax.”
Fair question.
The groups have called out Bezos’ estimated 1.1% true tax rate, pointing out the irony of being the second-richest person in the world, able to shut down half a city for a wedding, while everyday people struggle with funding for public services.
Venice locals have been divided. Some officials have welcomed the party, saying it could bring in up to €30 million for businesses. Others say the city is becoming a playground for billionaires while residents are priced out or ignored.
Bezos has tried to sweeten the deal, reportedly pledging €1 million to local environmental research. But for many, the conversation isn’t about charity - it’s about systemic inequality, public spaces, and how much influence the ultra-wealthy should have over them.
‘What It Took for Me to Finally Have an Orgasm’
Eight women who’d struggled to “finish” in the bedroom share the moment it eventually happened.
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I know it's bad but those DT tweets have me dying laughing
Well the difference between the two is I’ve never seen Putin fake an orgasm