🛼Harry Styles' shoey & being a chill girl😎
➕ Another quake hits Turkey, Bel Chimes In, & Harry does a shoey 🛼🍻
My angels!!!!! Yesterday I had the biggest SHEO day (can you tell I use that phrase sarcastically? hope so!) which started with an interview with Gemma Styles herself and ended with the biggest Lorde delivery in the entire world. Lots of meetings and an EXCITING thing we get to share with you very soon, but you’ll see/ hear about all of that on Friday in my diary edish of the newsy… 🔏
VERY IMP!!
Today I have something to ask of you!! We have our annual SYSCA survey where we want to know more about you - who you are, what you’re into, what you want from ME - and we would LOVE if you could fill it out for us! It won’t take long, and is like THE most helpful thing in the world for us 💘💘
🔔 Bel Chimes In: On the perils of being a chill girl
🔔 Luce Chimes In: Also on the perils of being a chill girl
Harry Styles did a shoey in Perth
Some podcast recs 🎙
🗺Around the world 🗺
Another quake hits Turkey, Japan looks to raise the age of consent, and a disaster relief fund for Hawke’s Bay 💌
🔔 Bel Chimes In: On the perils of being a chill girl 🔔
This section is written by my crush, the refreshing-as-a-house-chardonnay-on-a-steamy-day, Bel Hawkins. She also writes our Saturday newsletter ‘No News is Good News’ which all our paying supporters receive. Upgrade your plan to get her newsy here!
Mōrena besties!!
Before I start I just wanted to put my heart in my hands for everyone affected by the flooding here in Aotearoa. It's devastated both my hometown and the area where I was born, and beyond that — so many people's lives and I just want to say if this is you, I'm thinking of you 💘
Weird to do such a swift pivot into some cute musings for your day, but I do also think in the face of disaster, we still should find joy! Lightness! Laugh about the buzzy small things we do as weird humans that connect us! Make sense of things! Hmmm.
SO, this week's topic is lol to me and, as always, arose out of a chat with Luce and me about the things we do to be ~ chill girls ~ which, in some cases, has ruined my life, and others helped me along the way. Can you relate? Let's discuss:
The main things I say to not put pressure on someone and come across as empathic and undemanding:
“No worries if not!”
“No pressure!”
“In the most chill way possible...”
“Not to sound like a psycho, but...”
“Say no if weird, but...”
“Hey, all good if no, but I was thinking...”
Lol — why do we do this? Unpacking this feels like an entire university thesis if I'm honest, so in the meantime, here's where we landed:
Luce's hot take: "I think it's because we're the people that are often stretched thin, and perhaps we would like us to treat us in a chill girl way in return, so we project it?'
Which, inevitably led us to this question: ARE WE ALL ASKING TOO MUCH OF EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME AND STILL FEELING REALLY BAD ABOUT IT? Discuss.
My hot take is to try for a week asking for exactly what you want with no apologies (I know, I know, sounds like the premise of a rom-com but actually, I'm here for it).
No worries if not but like, could be cool?
Fizzing to hear your own chill girl fatal flaws in the chat!
Ily, til Saturday!
xx
Luce Chimes In: Also on the perils of being a chill girl
I am very much the antithesis of being a chill girl - ask anyone - but there are often times when I feel I am FAR TOO MUCH!!!! You will have noticed by now that I use a lot of !!!! in my writing, and that is because by design I am a !!!! person. BUT for a hot minute I found myself removing them (or at least wanting to) from every email - text - newsy - whatever!! Then I realised that being incredibly unchill is what I’m good at, and in an incredibly unchill way got an incredibly unchill tattoo of !! on my hand so I never forget who I am (though you will still catch me saying - ‘sorry - I know this is annoying!’ any time I ask you to do something for me.)
Harry Styles did a shoey in Perth
Huuuuge for us that Harry Styles is back on tour, even huger that he’s currently in Australia, and hugest that he’s GONNA BE IN NEW ZEALAND SOON (please, can someone help us meet him????)
He seems to be really getting into the culture of this part of the world tho, because at his show in Perth, the man did a literal shoey on stage:
For the uninformed (like half the people in the comment section of that post), a shoey is simply drinking from a shoe. Most often it’s beer, but it can be anything really.
Before he did the shoey, he said it was “one of the most disgusting traditions” he’s ever heard of, and after committing to the bit and DOING one, he said:
“I feel like a different person, I feel ashamed of myself. It feels so personal, such an intimate moment to be shared with so many people. I’ll be discussing this with my therapist at length.”
This is very personal to me because I can’t help but think he leart about the shoey from his bestie Danny Ric:
PS, ESPN made that collage - they’re fangirls fr.
Any ideas on what we can get him to do in NZ?
Some podcast recs:
Ok I’ve sorta been OFF my pod listening game lately, but I’ve been going on a few! Here’s one I did about 💘 the media💘
And I didn’t go on this one but I am recommending it to you because it’s a GREAT listen and has had the office I work in SHOOK:
Hope this makes up for the fact that there will be no new Culture Vulture this week - LOVE YOU!!!
🗺Around the world 🗺
NZ:
Cyclone Gabrielle has impacted the Hawke’s Bay region in New Zealand in an incredibly devastating way, so today I wanted to drop a link to donate specifically to them:
How to help in the aftermath of Cyclone Gabrielle (The Spinoff)
Turkey:
Turkey earthquake: Deadly new tremor traps people under rubble (BBC)
Just weeks after quakes killed at least 44,000 people in Turkey and Syria, another 6.4 magnitude quake has hit close to the city of Antakya near the border with Syria. This has crumbled buildings which were already impacted by the previous quakes, but the death toll is likely to be far less than the previous quakes as the areas were far more empty.
Japan:
Japan poised to raise age of consent from 13 in overhaul of sexual offence laws (The Guardian)
Japan is looking to raise the age of consent from 13 (the lowest of any G7 country) to 16, as the existing laws have come under criticism for not protecting children from sexual offences.
To get my Friday diary entry, a whole bunch of links and recommendations, and Bel’s Saturday morning newsy ‘No News Is Good News’ become a paying supporter 💌
I feel like the ‘chill girl’ vibe comes from the fact that women have been led to believe that we *should* be chill girls, rather than our perfectly unique selves - whatever that looks like. The ‘Okay if no’ commentary comes from not wanting to be too much and burden others, so we bear the burden ourselves of not asking for what we need. This is true for me anyway and might not be exactly it for everyone. Agree with Bel’s asking for exactly what you want/need scenario and in response, having boundaries to be able to say no to requests if that’s what is needed without guilt! And in return, not taking that no personally. All in favour of women understanding and supporting women and allowing each other to be our full, unique, ‘too much’ or ‘chill girl’ selves no matter which you are as long as it’s authentic to you and your needs.
can we also talk about how incredible it was for a HUGE artist like Harry to do a Welcome to the Country?!?!?! that means so much to so many people to see someone as big as him show so much respect to the First Nation people, we luv to see it