Feb 21, 2023·edited Feb 21, 2023Liked by shit you should care about, Bel Hawkins
I feel like the ‘chill girl’ vibe comes from the fact that women have been led to believe that we *should* be chill girls, rather than our perfectly unique selves - whatever that looks like. The ‘Okay if no’ commentary comes from not wanting to be too much and burden others, so we bear the burden ourselves of not asking for what we need. This is true for me anyway and might not be exactly it for everyone. Agree with Bel’s asking for exactly what you want/need scenario and in response, having boundaries to be able to say no to requests if that’s what is needed without guilt! And in return, not taking that no personally. All in favour of women understanding and supporting women and allowing each other to be our full, unique, ‘too much’ or ‘chill girl’ selves no matter which you are as long as it’s authentic to you and your needs.
can we also talk about how incredible it was for a HUGE artist like Harry to do a Welcome to the Country?!?!?! that means so much to so many people to see someone as big as him show so much respect to the First Nation people, we luv to see it
Feb 21, 2023Liked by shit you should care about, Bel Hawkins
can relate deeply to the "chill" no worries girl. turns out there is in fact many worries and someone saying no to my chill request will definitely ruin my stability.
the funny thing about true chill girls is that they would never say “no worries if not” or “sorry if this is annoying” bc they are so chill they don’t need the disclaimer, you simply know there are absolutely no worries if not. i feel like it’s only the not-chill ones of us who have to actively put these vibes out bc we are all aware of how we are not-chill -a very truly not-chill girlie!!!! (like, truly!! my best friends brother had to abbreviate “u need to take a chill pill” to “chill pill” because he said it to me so much and didn’t think chill was enough for me)
Feb 21, 2023Liked by shit you should care about, Bel Hawkins
I spent ages (well, like, a minute) googling trying to figure out what a SHEO was (Google tried to correct me to shoe, then defined it as State Higher Education Officer, urban dictionary said its when you put mismatched shoes on) but i worked out think you meant to say She E O? Classic low stakes error if so 😅
I am both a “totally fine if that’s not gonna work!” And extreme usage of !!!s girl. Once I was driving and asked my husband to send a couple of texts to my bestie while we were heading to her place, we got there and she pulled me aside and asked if I was ok cause my texts sounded sad/pissed off - but really it was just because the lack of !!! and eee and omg and LOVE YOUs hahah
chill girl immediately made me think of this tiktok
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRn2XHDE/ which is similar to the idea that we are projecting / thinking about how we would want to be asked the thing. for ex my mom is very direct and asks for what she wants bc she is very good at saying no but i am very no worries if not bc i struggle with boundaries/saying no (heh). i def also think it’s gendered a LOT
Cheers so much to only ever being unchill girls. I’m the brash bestie who will always (lovingly) yell-in-hushed-yet-stern-tones when my friends “apologetically assert” themselves or their needs. I feel like we do our passions and interests a disservice when we “but...” ourselves. I’m all for getting people as amped about what I’m amped about and want everyone who comes to me for something to do the same. I petition for more people assuming the friends, fam, peers, or strangers we’re sharing or asking of would be into it as much as they wouldn’t be. The odds are the same after all.
Lol I feel seen with the !!!, I’m known as the !!! girlie in my friends group/work and also I’ve been thinking about getting it tattooed for a while hahaha that’s my sign
I feel like the ‘chill girl’ vibe comes from the fact that women have been led to believe that we *should* be chill girls, rather than our perfectly unique selves - whatever that looks like. The ‘Okay if no’ commentary comes from not wanting to be too much and burden others, so we bear the burden ourselves of not asking for what we need. This is true for me anyway and might not be exactly it for everyone. Agree with Bel’s asking for exactly what you want/need scenario and in response, having boundaries to be able to say no to requests if that’s what is needed without guilt! And in return, not taking that no personally. All in favour of women understanding and supporting women and allowing each other to be our full, unique, ‘too much’ or ‘chill girl’ selves no matter which you are as long as it’s authentic to you and your needs.
can we also talk about how incredible it was for a HUGE artist like Harry to do a Welcome to the Country?!?!?! that means so much to so many people to see someone as big as him show so much respect to the First Nation people, we luv to see it
can relate deeply to the "chill" no worries girl. turns out there is in fact many worries and someone saying no to my chill request will definitely ruin my stability.
the funny thing about true chill girls is that they would never say “no worries if not” or “sorry if this is annoying” bc they are so chill they don’t need the disclaimer, you simply know there are absolutely no worries if not. i feel like it’s only the not-chill ones of us who have to actively put these vibes out bc we are all aware of how we are not-chill -a very truly not-chill girlie!!!! (like, truly!! my best friends brother had to abbreviate “u need to take a chill pill” to “chill pill” because he said it to me so much and didn’t think chill was enough for me)
I spent ages (well, like, a minute) googling trying to figure out what a SHEO was (Google tried to correct me to shoe, then defined it as State Higher Education Officer, urban dictionary said its when you put mismatched shoes on) but i worked out think you meant to say She E O? Classic low stakes error if so 😅
It says the form is no longer taking responses when i click the survey
I am both a “totally fine if that’s not gonna work!” And extreme usage of !!!s girl. Once I was driving and asked my husband to send a couple of texts to my bestie while we were heading to her place, we got there and she pulled me aside and asked if I was ok cause my texts sounded sad/pissed off - but really it was just because the lack of !!! and eee and omg and LOVE YOUs hahah
chill girl immediately made me think of this tiktok
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRn2XHDE/ which is similar to the idea that we are projecting / thinking about how we would want to be asked the thing. for ex my mom is very direct and asks for what she wants bc she is very good at saying no but i am very no worries if not bc i struggle with boundaries/saying no (heh). i def also think it’s gendered a LOT
Cheers so much to only ever being unchill girls. I’m the brash bestie who will always (lovingly) yell-in-hushed-yet-stern-tones when my friends “apologetically assert” themselves or their needs. I feel like we do our passions and interests a disservice when we “but...” ourselves. I’m all for getting people as amped about what I’m amped about and want everyone who comes to me for something to do the same. I petition for more people assuming the friends, fam, peers, or strangers we’re sharing or asking of would be into it as much as they wouldn’t be. The odds are the same after all.
I can’t with the Harry Danny content it’s too much for me to handle
Just realized what my chill girl hedge is: adding 'i think' before making any suggestion
Lol I feel seen with the !!!, I’m known as the !!! girlie in my friends group/work and also I’ve been thinking about getting it tattooed for a while hahaha that’s my sign