I’ve been sitting with so much anger, grief and sadness since I read Gisele’s story. I appreciate you lending your voice to the discussion.
I generally write about issues related to disability and chronic illness - but also medical misogyny. I was horrified to learn she had gone to the doctor on multiple occasions for memory loss, blackouts and vaginal bruising. She KNEW something was wrong - but didn’t know what was being done to her.
Her doctors all dismissed her. No one believed her, listened to her or dug a little deeper. I’m livid on her behalf … because perhaps had they done a more thorough exam or run tests they MAY have been able to get her out of a dangerous situation sooner.
We are failing women. We don’t listen to them, we don’t treat their pain or their health complaints the same way we treat a man’s and we often don’t give them autonomy over their own bodies.
On a personal note - when I needed a hysterectomy at 24 doctors waited until I nearly died because I “might meet a man who wants babies.” What a hypothetical man might hypothetically want was judged to me more important than what I NEEDED.
It was my first - but not my last - experience with misogyny in medicine. I hate that Gisele’s doctors failed her. That all the men who were presumably approached to participate in her abuse and said no - also failed her. That no one tried to stop what was happening to her.
I hate that she tried to get help - that she knew something was dreadfully wrong - and was ignored.
I hate that it happens to women every day - all over the world.
I hate all of it.
The only thing helping me through my anger is how many women are speaking up. Sharing their stories. Naming names. They’re refusing to suffer in silence any longer. Refusing to exist in the shadows and shamed into keeping quiet. They’re getting loud - and we should all follow suit.
Hold every single man who did this accountable. Every man who reached out, every man who assaulted her, every man who raped her, hold them all accountable.
I'm so sorry she has suffered this level of betrayal, this level of deceit, and this level of abuse. She is a strong and amazing woman
As a French person, please add this to your story (we get the transcripts of the trial). Within the first 20min of the trial, the judge shared additional discoveries. One of them left the audience shocked : it was revealed there was another file discovered, this time with videos and pictures of his daughter. Let that sink in : his wife AND his own daughter.
Even more unbelievable 😠 This is so far beyond awful.
Since you're French, may I ask? The post mentioned insisting that they "wouldn’t use the word rape in court, but instead use “sex scene". That alone seems to show a fundamental misunderstanding about rape: rape is violence, not sex. Was that perhaps not translated accurately from French to English?
I grew up in France for some of my teenage years, so speak it fluently, and am following the trial closely. It was translated correctly (although I completely agree with you). From what I’ve read in French media, it’s because some of the accused lawyer’s put this forward. In France, legally, there is presumption of innocence so they didn’t want the word rape being used… as in their words it would suggest their clients are already guilty.
Thank you for clarifying that, Camila. We have presumption of innocence in the US as well. I’m still dismayed that the judge agreed to that substitute wording. Would they substitute other words for talking about another crime, like robbery or assault, in a trial?
This poor woman Gisèle who is so generous with sharing her story. Just think of the number of other women and children this could be happening to under our noses. Imagine if we had a way to see who a sexual predator was just as clearly as we see their face. A scarlet letter if you will but it appears without having to be found out and prosecuted. This is why we choose the bear. We know our chances.
It’s just, just, just …. there isn’t a word good enough .. it’s more than appalling, more than disgusting, more than sickening. Just how? How does a person who is meant to love another do this to their supposed loved one? Give me the bear.
It was all under a file named “abuses” how fucking evil do you have to be to have it named that? To go to the doctor with your wife because she isn’t feeling well and loosing her memory? That’s vile and evil. Her own husband. Of FIFTY YEARS!!!
I feel sick to my stomach.
I'm also grateful for your delivery and care taken with sharing this important story. (As always)
Gisèle, my heart is with you.
They act surprised when we pick the bear
This is the most horrific story I've ever read. The bear, ever time
This hurts to read 🥺
I’ve been sitting with so much anger, grief and sadness since I read Gisele’s story. I appreciate you lending your voice to the discussion.
I generally write about issues related to disability and chronic illness - but also medical misogyny. I was horrified to learn she had gone to the doctor on multiple occasions for memory loss, blackouts and vaginal bruising. She KNEW something was wrong - but didn’t know what was being done to her.
Her doctors all dismissed her. No one believed her, listened to her or dug a little deeper. I’m livid on her behalf … because perhaps had they done a more thorough exam or run tests they MAY have been able to get her out of a dangerous situation sooner.
We are failing women. We don’t listen to them, we don’t treat their pain or their health complaints the same way we treat a man’s and we often don’t give them autonomy over their own bodies.
On a personal note - when I needed a hysterectomy at 24 doctors waited until I nearly died because I “might meet a man who wants babies.” What a hypothetical man might hypothetically want was judged to me more important than what I NEEDED.
It was my first - but not my last - experience with misogyny in medicine. I hate that Gisele’s doctors failed her. That all the men who were presumably approached to participate in her abuse and said no - also failed her. That no one tried to stop what was happening to her.
I hate that she tried to get help - that she knew something was dreadfully wrong - and was ignored.
I hate that it happens to women every day - all over the world.
I hate all of it.
The only thing helping me through my anger is how many women are speaking up. Sharing their stories. Naming names. They’re refusing to suffer in silence any longer. Refusing to exist in the shadows and shamed into keeping quiet. They’re getting loud - and we should all follow suit.
Hold every single man who did this accountable. Every man who reached out, every man who assaulted her, every man who raped her, hold them all accountable.
I'm so sorry she has suffered this level of betrayal, this level of deceit, and this level of abuse. She is a strong and amazing woman
As a French person, please add this to your story (we get the transcripts of the trial). Within the first 20min of the trial, the judge shared additional discoveries. One of them left the audience shocked : it was revealed there was another file discovered, this time with videos and pictures of his daughter. Let that sink in : his wife AND his own daughter.
Even more unbelievable 😠 This is so far beyond awful.
Since you're French, may I ask? The post mentioned insisting that they "wouldn’t use the word rape in court, but instead use “sex scene". That alone seems to show a fundamental misunderstanding about rape: rape is violence, not sex. Was that perhaps not translated accurately from French to English?
I would like to know this as well - I cringed when I read that. Call it what it is - rape is NOT sex.
I grew up in France for some of my teenage years, so speak it fluently, and am following the trial closely. It was translated correctly (although I completely agree with you). From what I’ve read in French media, it’s because some of the accused lawyer’s put this forward. In France, legally, there is presumption of innocence so they didn’t want the word rape being used… as in their words it would suggest their clients are already guilty.
We have the same presumption in the U.K. too. But I still don’t understand this logic. What are they on trial for if not rape?
Thank you for clarifying that, Camila. We have presumption of innocence in the US as well. I’m still dismayed that the judge agreed to that substitute wording. Would they substitute other words for talking about another crime, like robbery or assault, in a trial?
This poor woman Gisèle who is so generous with sharing her story. Just think of the number of other women and children this could be happening to under our noses. Imagine if we had a way to see who a sexual predator was just as clearly as we see their face. A scarlet letter if you will but it appears without having to be found out and prosecuted. This is why we choose the bear. We know our chances.
Oh Giséle, you are so brave, and I am so sorry. This is absolutely nauseating and enraging.
It’s just, just, just …. there isn’t a word good enough .. it’s more than appalling, more than disgusting, more than sickening. Just how? How does a person who is meant to love another do this to their supposed loved one? Give me the bear.
I see why women hate men.
It was all under a file named “abuses” how fucking evil do you have to be to have it named that? To go to the doctor with your wife because she isn’t feeling well and loosing her memory? That’s vile and evil. Her own husband. Of FIFTY YEARS!!!
this is insane i can’t believe it…
Merci Gisèle.
I have so much respect for Gisèle, to be able to go through this and speak with conviction about her experiences.
I can only imagine what she is going through 🥺
Her bravery is astounding and as a woman, I applaud and stand by her every step of the way