Modern dating feels like a sims game
+ A tense day in court for Trump and Story Daniels, and floods in Brazil
Hi my babies!!!!! Yesterday I walked past a cute little poster in Wellington that let you rip off a compliment and pass it on to someone, so I took these ones for you since you’re all being SO cute to me lately xxxx
I’m obsessed with Bel’s Chime this week, eeeeek hope u love it xx
✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀ BEL CHIMES IN ❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿
This section is written by the refreshing-as-a-house-chardonnay-on-a-steamy-day (and co-author of our debut book Make It Make Sense) Bel Hawkins. Each week Bel comes here to chime in about the things she’s been loling at, yearning for, or totally mystified by. Luckily for us, she also writes our Sunday advice column ‘Wait, But What?’ for all our paying supporters who want to make sense of the world!! Upgrade your plan to get her newsy here!
A list of unhinged shit we've heard on dates
When I moved to Portugal last year, it happened to coincide with when we were writing the chapter on modern romance for our book. I'd never hit the dating apps at home, mostly out of anon-xiety (NZ is so small and I prefer the gorgeousness of being anonymous or mysterious for as long as possible). So I decided to conduct some field journalism into the state of the contemporary dating scene.
During this time, I found myself having the same conversation with single friends I've made along the way. That modern dating now feels like a Sims game, where everyone is augmenting their reality and stepping in and out of real life and having completely bizarre and often exasperating experiences along the way. Dating can be fun, funny, and totally unexpected (such as, I don't know, ending up drinking mead at a medieval bar until it closes, say) but also absolutely wild. I did an AMA on my Instagram the other day to collect some other stories and thought I'd collect the best of them into a Chime, so we can all rejoice at the shared absurdity of it all.
Comments on a photo on dating profile:
Leg day at the gym, is it?
You know female orgasms are a myth right
Feel like u could take a hotter pic
Two female friends overheard at a bar:
"Hmm let me think if I know any good single men to introduce you to..."
"You won't - they all died in the war"
DM:
I know we've never met but do you want to come to an ayuescha ceremony with me this weekend?
On a date:
"I guess the best person I've ever met is my ex. He lives in Brooklyn, New York. Let me show you photos of him, he's so hot."
"I don't date smart girls. I have enough trouble with the dumb ones."
"Please don't wear perfume, I need to respond to your natural scent"
"So weird, but you're way smarter than my ex"
We are unhinged, aren't we? Or, at least, the state of modern romance is. We want it all: to choose, to know, spontaneity, a storyline that could rival a rom com, and also something calm and settling. My advice is to be as genuine a person online as you are in real life because it's when we're not that we run into... trouble.
Crazy that I mention this, actually, but there's actually a whole chapter in the book about this! Do with that information what you will. See you in the weekend newsy this week where I'll be answering someone's angst about being the only single person in the friend group. I got you, girl. Ily! x
⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ IN THE NEWS⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖
Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels had a tense day in court
As we all know, Trump and Stormy Daniels have been in an incredibly public battle over “an alleged sexual encounter, a hush-money deal paid by the former president's fixer, and their respective efforts to own the very public narrative.”
Well, as the BBC notes, those tensions “spilled out” in court yesterday, when Stormy took the stand to face Trump for the first time.
Again, according to the BBC, Stormy didn’t look at Trump once, except for when she had to identify him.
“She spent much of her time on the stand recounting the sexual encounter that she claims to have had with the defendant - an act that sparked the allegations at the heart of the case - and pushing back at his legal team's scathing questions.
Mr Trump, meanwhile, spent parts of her evidence cursing and shaking his head. That prompted a warning from the judge, according to court transcripts published at the end of the day.”
Have you seen the floods in Brazil?
Authorities have called the recent flooding the worst climate disaster ever to strike southern Brazil.
“Ferocious” rain has flooded a lot of Rio Grande do Sul state, “displacing more than 155,000 people and forcing the closure of the main airport in the country’s fifth biggest city.” The floods have also killed at least 90 people so far.
☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ON THE WEB ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★
I know this isn’t the point but don’t you think it’s CRAZY THAT I’VE INTERVIEWED 3/6 OF THESE MEN IN THE PAST MONTH?????
They’re my babies x
Over on Close Friends: You’ve been visiting Wellington with me and watching my besties move overseas and sew new clothes for me!!!
And in the Book Club chat: We’re talking all things ‘Funny Story’ by Emily Henry
What Bel’s talking about in Wait, But What?
"I feel like I'm just constantly waiting, hoping things will improve"
"How do I deal with my flakey friends without being a bitch?"
☆Other good shit☆
Pre-order our book Make It Make Sense here!
Join our Book Club here!
Become a Close Friend on Instagram here!
Drop a question for our weekend advice column ‘Wait, But What?’ here!
Support the independent media you love by becoming a paid supporter here!
PS, if you wanna chat to me about anything I’ve written today, your latest crush, or if you just want a pen pal, reply to this email and we can be friends 𓆩♡𓆪
hands down the grossest thing in here is "I guess the best person I've ever met is my ex."
barfing all over my shoes at that one lmao