🎢The Rollercoaster That Is Life🎢
LET ME OFF! + A TikTok ban and Hank Green's cancer diagnosis ˙◠˙
First order of business - welcome to all the new besties who’ve found their way to the cutest part of the internet since last week - I’m obsessed with the fact that you’re here, and feel like I owe you a lil intro (apols if you’ve seen this before, but I’m just doing my #job!!)
By way of intro, I’m Luce - I write this newsletter for ALL OF YOU from Monday-Thursday, and in it, you can expect a round-up of pop culture, headlines from around the world, internet-y things, and whoever I’m crushing on at the moment.
You can also expect to hear from Bel, who ‘Chimes In’ every Wednesday with softcore philosophy and cute musings on life, and Laura, who writes our ‘Shit You Should Cook About’ column every Thursday and helps people who hate cooking (me) actually do it (and even enjoy it.)
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WE’RE GOING TO NEW YORK
Second order of business - Rubes and I are off to NEW YORK this week (I’m speaking at the World Congress of News Media over there to teach them how to talk to Gen Z - huge, I know) which means that tomorrow will be my last newsy to you for about a week. You’ll still get Bel’s cute Sunday newsy, and I’ll be giving all the Close Friends constant Sex and The City updates but there’ll be no usual morning newsletters - sorry! I’ll miss you, and can’t wait to catch you all up on the NYC tea.
Am I… too old for roller coasters?
Montana Governor puts TikTok in timeout… by banning it
Hank Green shares his cancer diagnosis
We’re getting a Zoey 101 reboot and I’m so pumped
🗺Around the world🗺
At least 12 people dead after crowd crush at football stadium in El Salvador, Climate activists turn water in Rome landmark black, & America hit the debt limit - what’s next?
Today’s mundane poll: Do you call spaghetti bolognese ‘spag bol’ or ‘spag bog’?
Am I… too old for roller coasters?
My bestie Flo and I went to NZ’s biggest (and only) amusement park yesterday in a desperate quest to feel something, and I fear that while I was once like Zayn Malik:
I am now more of a Harry Styles:
We got there and went on the ‘fear fall’ which is basically a giant drop, and then the ‘stratosfear’ which looks like this:
and takes you upside down so many times that you feel like you’re in an infinite loop that will never end (and you’re SLIPPING OUT.) Basically, we did the ‘extreme’ version of this at the VERY beginning of the day and it fucked us up for the rest of our day at Rainbow’s End.
I documented the whole trip here, and was glad to see that we were joined by a bunch of people saying they puked/ passed out/ got a legit migraine from this ride. Honestly, I used to eat shit like this up, but at the ripe age of 25 I feel like… it should be illegal.
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I would like to note that a lot of my commentary in this video is Chandler Bing level sarcasm, and we actually had a really fun day!!!
Montana Governor puts TikTok in timeout… by banning it
Montana’s Governor Greg Gianforte has just signed a bill that makes it unlawful for Google and Apple's app stores to offer TikTok within the state, demanding that mobile app stores make the app unavailable for Montana residents. What this means is that TikTok would be effectively banned from being downloaded and accessed through app stores within Montana's jurisdiction - BUT- the ban applies to the app stores rather than individuals using the app, so there won't be penalties imposed on individuals who continue to use TikTok.
The law specifies that no penalties apply to users of TikTok. But app store operators and TikTok itself could face fines of $10,000 per violation per day, with an individual violation defined as “each time that a user accesses TikTok, is offered the ability to access TikTok, or is offered the ability to download TikTok.”
But when??
Unless it’s blocked before then, this ban is to go into effect on January 1st, 2024, but will be ‘voided automatically if TikTok severs its ties to Chinese parent company ByteDance, as long as its new owner isn’t located in a “foreign adversary” nation.
But never fear, TikTok creators are here… to sue!
Hank Green shares his cancer diagnosis
Speaking of TikTok and Montana, one of the most wholesome creators on the web (and friend of SYSCA) - Hank Green - who happens to live in Montana, announced on TikTok yesterday that he has been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
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“Good news and bad news. One, it’s cancer. Good news, it’s something called Hodgkin’s lymphoma - it’s one of the most treatable cancers. It responds very well to treatment.”
Hank said in his vid that he had swollen armpits, which turned out to be enlarged lymph nodes, and after getting some tests done, was informed that it was cancer. He starts chemo on Friday & honestly, I just wish him nothing but the best.
What this has made me think about though, is how right now we’re living in perhaps the most parasocial times we ever have, and (not to sound horrible but) it’s going to be really interesting to watch how we all deal with our faves beginning to age, and start to going through new parts of life that are less shiny and perfect - like facing health issues such as this. Growing up online sure is weird eh?
The Writers Strike, Explained
Dunc and I explained the Hollywood writers’ strike to you on this weeks ep of the Shit Show so you should listen!!
We are getting a Zoey 101 reboot and I could NOT be more excited
If Zoey 101 has 100 fans I am one of them. If it has 10 fans I am one of them. If it has one fan it’s me. I cannot tell you how BADLY I wanted to go to PCA, to have a little yassified dorm key around my neck, to ride those little scooters they got given in that one episode - it was my DREAM. And now, it’s getting a reboot.
I’m not here to argue about whether we should be giving reboots to everything (in Gossip Girl’s case - nooooooo) but I am here to give you the most imp news of the day (according to me) and this is of great importance to me.
According to Entertainment Weekly:
As previously announced, Zoey 102 will see Jamie Lynn Spears reprise her role as Zoey Brooks, who was part of the first wave of female graduates from the prestigious PCA. Viewers will catch up with Zoey in the present, as she reunites with old friends like Quinn Pensky (Erin Sanders), Chase Matthews (Sean Flynn), Logan Reese (Matthew Underwood), Michael Barret (Christopher Massey), Stacey Dillsen (Abby Wilde), and Mark Del Figgalo (Jack Salvatore).
Everything else you need to know is here!
🗺Around the world🗺
El Salvador: At least 12 people dead after crowd crush at football stadium in El Salvador (The Guardian)
A crowd crush at a football stadium in El Salvador on Saturday. has seen at least 12 people dead and more than 100 injured. More here!
Italy: Climate activists turn water in Rome landmark black (BBC)
Water in the Trevi Fountain turned black when climate change activists released "vegetable charcoal" into Rome's famous landmark. Protesters from Ultima Generazione (Last Generation) standing in the water unfurled anti-fossil fuel banners. The group's website says it is campaigning against "government subsidies of fossil fuel". Rome's mayor Roberto Gualtieri says the city will have to "throw away 300,000 litres of water" to clean-up the tourist attraction, because it uses recirculating water.
USA: We Hit the Debt Limit. What Happens Now? (NY Times)
Time is running out for Congress to raise the nation’s debt limit, which controls how much money the government can borrow to pay its bills. Lawmakers will need to reach a bipartisan agreement to lift the cap. The longer it takes, the more turmoil there could be for the United States and the global economy.
More on how this all works here!
Today’s mundane poll:
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Always thought it was Spag Bowl...as you put in a bowl...shit...now I'm questioning my life...does anyone else use a bowl instead of a plate for spaghetti?
Are the spag bog people ok? Because wtf?? Bog???