As someone who sees the signs/is treated as someone considered above average in looks, there’s a big difference between looking it and feeling it - it’s led to a struggle in which I know the difference between genuine and superficial compliments but I can’t always perceive them right and it’s intimidating trying to figure out whether I should be hurt or happy as that can become an insult to the person giving it, which leads to a circle of hurt many people can easily fall into. I wish I believed people more when complimented, just as I hope people believe in the genuine sincerity I put into compliments I give out too, but there’s also a constant lingering fear of potentially slipping into narcissistic or self absorbed behaviors if I do take them personally. #itsmentalillnessinnit
Anywho, in my experience, what I found to be most important is to look for the beauty in everyone; it can be a specific facial feature, their style, hair, whatever appeals to you bc from there - albeit slowly - what you consider to be beautiful or attractive expands beyond what you see in ads and media and finding beauty in more things becomes easier. Now I look at people and think about the colors that would better compliment them, what hair style would better enhance their features bc all I want to do is expand on the beauty that’s already right there; whether true beauty is masked by societal trends or experimentation, it’s still there - it just takes self exploration and upmost care about your health to get there (says “just” like it didn’t take me two years to change my perspective from losing weight to focusing on running for the sake of my heart health as there is history of it on both sides of my family, then poof I was my goal weight all bc the focus of my goal changed).
Who you hangout with is also very important. Insulting or judging others has never really been my preference when it comes to humor, but I can see the appeal it has sometimes; however, hanging out with someone who only has negative things to say about people puts quite the challenge on remaining positive or optimistic toward anything if you’re exposed to it long enough - friendship has its own clusterfrick of problems so I’ll quit while I’m ahead on this point.
Admittedly the path of education I’m taking also helped me better realize things for myself (nutrition & anatomy/physiology!!), but to speed this up - if relatively average me can get through this crap, anyone can!!! - I believe in all of you; with mental health it’ll be harder to persevere, but I still believe in you just as y’all would believe in me - Keep trying, keep caring, and keep loving and one day you’ll know what I’m talking about - hopefully it’ll help refocus your perspective when times get dark like it has for me too🫶🏻<3
Call me lucky - I am an introvert unaffected by the stereotypical concept of beauty.
Choosing to have very few friends other than those who would seek me out gave opportunity to know the value and worth people offered rather than being fooled by fleeting looks.
Skin wrinkles, hair turns grey or white and muscles weaken if we live long enough. Did no one learn the lesson of people who live longer and love each other? How saddeningly shallow.
Should we look at the truth? That true worth is never part of how someone looks. Allowing ourselves to be manipulated by a beauty industry and a fashion industry into believing that success comes only to those who meet ever changing unrealistic standards only serves to enrichen them while devaluing us.
Alleged pretty privilege person elaboration:
As someone who sees the signs/is treated as someone considered above average in looks, there’s a big difference between looking it and feeling it - it’s led to a struggle in which I know the difference between genuine and superficial compliments but I can’t always perceive them right and it’s intimidating trying to figure out whether I should be hurt or happy as that can become an insult to the person giving it, which leads to a circle of hurt many people can easily fall into. I wish I believed people more when complimented, just as I hope people believe in the genuine sincerity I put into compliments I give out too, but there’s also a constant lingering fear of potentially slipping into narcissistic or self absorbed behaviors if I do take them personally. #itsmentalillnessinnit
Anywho, in my experience, what I found to be most important is to look for the beauty in everyone; it can be a specific facial feature, their style, hair, whatever appeals to you bc from there - albeit slowly - what you consider to be beautiful or attractive expands beyond what you see in ads and media and finding beauty in more things becomes easier. Now I look at people and think about the colors that would better compliment them, what hair style would better enhance their features bc all I want to do is expand on the beauty that’s already right there; whether true beauty is masked by societal trends or experimentation, it’s still there - it just takes self exploration and upmost care about your health to get there (says “just” like it didn’t take me two years to change my perspective from losing weight to focusing on running for the sake of my heart health as there is history of it on both sides of my family, then poof I was my goal weight all bc the focus of my goal changed).
Who you hangout with is also very important. Insulting or judging others has never really been my preference when it comes to humor, but I can see the appeal it has sometimes; however, hanging out with someone who only has negative things to say about people puts quite the challenge on remaining positive or optimistic toward anything if you’re exposed to it long enough - friendship has its own clusterfrick of problems so I’ll quit while I’m ahead on this point.
Admittedly the path of education I’m taking also helped me better realize things for myself (nutrition & anatomy/physiology!!), but to speed this up - if relatively average me can get through this crap, anyone can!!! - I believe in all of you; with mental health it’ll be harder to persevere, but I still believe in you just as y’all would believe in me - Keep trying, keep caring, and keep loving and one day you’ll know what I’m talking about - hopefully it’ll help refocus your perspective when times get dark like it has for me too🫶🏻<3
Call me lucky - I am an introvert unaffected by the stereotypical concept of beauty.
Choosing to have very few friends other than those who would seek me out gave opportunity to know the value and worth people offered rather than being fooled by fleeting looks.
Skin wrinkles, hair turns grey or white and muscles weaken if we live long enough. Did no one learn the lesson of people who live longer and love each other? How saddeningly shallow.
Should we look at the truth? That true worth is never part of how someone looks. Allowing ourselves to be manipulated by a beauty industry and a fashion industry into believing that success comes only to those who meet ever changing unrealistic standards only serves to enrichen them while devaluing us.
Pretty is only a privilege if you let it!