An American Pope and a hermit crab heist

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My angels!!! In a lovely turn of events, I’m currently back home at Normy’s in the beautiful Te Waiharakeke (Blenheim). I’ve spent the weekend doing everything I need to - I’ve seen my besties (RUBES!!!!!), hung out with my family, seen my ancient cat (Tinkerbell), visited my doctor, drunk some good wine, and sat in the sun. It’s been bliss! I accidentally fucked up all my flights (I booked them for a week later than I need them), so I think I’ll stick around for the week and hang out here. Close Friends are gonna be in for some good Normy content this week I think!

Hope you all had a cute weekend, let’s do some news shall we? xxxx

From Chi-Town to St. Peter’s Crown: We have a new pope

By now, this is old news, but I would like to quickly revisit what I wrote about old mate over in Love Island: Pope Edition:

Robert Francis Prevost (USA, 69) - The American

Type on paper: Midwest sweetie who speaks Spanish and listens well.
What he brings to the villa:

• Missionary in Peru = cultural crossover appeal.

• Chosen by Francis to help shape future bishops = big “producer fave” energy.

What might hold him back:

• American.

• Hasn't said much on LGBTQ+ or reproductive rights = hard to know where he stands.

---

Honestly, people seem to be… pretty stoked about it!

In his first Sunday address as the newly elected head of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV stepped onto the central balcony of St Peter’s Basilica, looked out at the masses in St Peter’s Square, and asked for something painfully simple: “No more war.”

The former Bishop Robert Prevost - now the 267th Pope, and the first American to hold the role - used his debut moment for peace. Specifically, he pleaded for a ceasefire in Gaza, a “true and lasting” peace in Ukraine, and expressed hope over the just-announced ceasefire between India and Pakistan.

It was a call that felt both heartbreakingly familiar and heartbreakingly urgent. “We’re facing the tragedy of a third world war in pieces,” he said, referencing the ongoing war in Ukraine, Israel’s renewed attacks on Gaza, and the recent violence in Kashmir.

He also made space for grief. For children separated from their families. For civilians in Gaza cut off from aid. For prisoners still in captivity. And for the complicated legacy he inherits, following the death of Pope Francis just last week.

Though Leo is seen as a moderate - someone likely to carry on Francis’ advocacy for the planet, the poor, and migrants - there’s power in his decision to begin his papacy with a collective heartbreak, rather than a personal promise.

The Great Hermit Crab Heist

In a story that sounds like it was dreamt up by a Pixar villain, three men have been arrested in Japan for trying to smuggle thousands of hermit crabs off Amami Island... in suitcases.

Yep. Suitcases. Stuffed. With crabs.

Here’s what we know:

• The men, aged 24, 26, and 27, were staying at a hotel on Amami - a southern Japanese island where hermit crabs are protected.

• They asked hotel staff to look after their bags (already suspicious??), and the staff noticed the luggage was... rustling.

• Inside? Over 160kg worth of live hermit crabs. (One set of bags alone held 65kg of crab!)

• Police say the crustaceans are considered a "national treasure" due to their role in the island’s biodiversity.

• The motive is still unclear, but theories include: selling them, keeping them as pets, or eating them.

For context: hermit crabs aren’t just cute little beach guys. They’re essential to the island’s ecosystem, and reportedly can sell for up to ¥20,000 (£103) each. So this wasn’t just a weird crime. It was a potentially lucrative one.

No word yet on the crabs' condition post-rescue, but we hope they’re being pampered like the tiny kings they are.

US and China Slash Tariffs by 115%???????

In a rare moment of cooperation, the US and China have agreed to cut tariffs on each other’s goods by 115 percent for 90 days. Yes, 115. Yes, that sounds mathematically impossible. But what it means is: tariffs are dropping significantly, but they’re still high.

Here’s the key detail:

• US tariffs on Chinese imports will now be 30%

• Chinese tariffs on US goods will fall to 10%

This is a bigger cut than expected. But 30 percent is still a heavy tariff, especially for consumers and businesses who’ve been watching this trade war play out for years.

So why now?

• Chinese officials were growing increasingly concerned about the economic impact of US tariffs.

• US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent had already called the situation “unsustainable.”

• After holding trade talks in Geneva over the weekend, both sides agreed to a 90-day tariff truce.

This is not the end of the US-China trade war. But it is the first meaningful cooling-off in a long time. And for a global economy rattled by inflation, tech tensions, and supply chain chaos — it’s a start.

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