Your attractions and preferences are 100% valid. Don’t self-abandon. Go with what feels authentic.
To offer a different perspective: I personally avoid saying anything in online profiles that might come across as privileged, elitist, or ableist (like demanding perfect spelling or grammar). It is possible to kindly tell someone that you don’t think you’re compatible with them without risking putting down their dyslexia, trauma, or inability to afford, attend, or excel in school.
For any sapiosexuals: I know that attraction to intellect is a valid orientation. I don’t want to encourage erasure of that. I think there are ways to be both authentic and considerate of the audience when creating profiles.
it should be 'interest in books' instead of taste I think!
Also I find the two truths and a lie so cringe as a concept, it's very pick-me, reeks of just wanting to be asked about these facts in a way that is very off-putting. AS A GENERAL CONCEPT not yours specifically.
You are so cute! I just recently found your stack and i’m in love!!!! Love your content and your posts. So smart and fun to have ppl vote. your profile is gonna be snatched
I should also caveat that I’m in my early 40s (Elder Millennial here 🙋♀️) so there’s a good chance your experience will be better than mine has been thus far
As a cyclist, I loved pic 2 because it shows more of your personality. Willingness to fall over and eat shit but continue the sport anyway lol. GOOD LUCK!!!
I didn't realise it would stop me voting once it'd reached the threshold of prompts, but replace the handwritten letter with the hating pop music prompt for SURE!! It'll weed out more assholes that way :) ALSO I love prompt 5 - it's a super interesting question and people can respond to it in a really authentic way!!
I love this journey for you, Luce. I met my partner on Hinge almost 4 years ago, and we're going super strong. Just be your most authentic self, and don't settle for anything less than genuine.
Quick hot tip: I found going on super long evening dinner / drinks dates super draining, and it meant I was dedicating lots of my time to people I didn't know and weren't right. Plus, adding alcohol into the mix was clouding my judgment quite a bit. I found going on shorter 1-hour (2 max) coffee/walking dates much better, and I always made sure I had something else to go to after, so there was a definite hard stop (and I could debrief, or make up for a shitty date with friends). Meant I had an "out" if it wasn't vibing, but if I felt like I wanted more time with them or was disappointed the date was over, I knew a second date was in order!
I second the hot tip! I've been out of the dating app game awhile now but I also found the formal dates so potentially draining (nothing worse than sharing an awkward meal with someone who can't make conversation) especially trying to schedule so walks/coffee are the way to go and you can make up plans after if you need an easy out or if it's great then you continue on to dinner! I also got to the point where I wouldn't chat in app too much to see if we click in person before I'd get too emotionally invested!
And yes you definitely want to just be yourself, if they're not interested it's their loss or you just weren't a good match! And as much of a cliché as it is, when you know you know (I thought that was a load of crap until I met my now fiancé)
Love it all! and I know you write for a job, but the stuff about grammar comes off a lil elitist and that's not your typical vibe so I'd prob stay clear of that, also in the grand scheme of things a kind heart, great snogger, adventure lover etc are probably so much more important! xx
From my personal hinge history (it is long and storied), the best responses and dates I got were when I stopped trying to take hinge too seriously. If you’re dating for fun (which I highly recommend), your profile doesn’t actually need to be your most sincere self. Your most authentic, yes. But you are not a person that takes life too seriously so I vote for the pics and prompts that are more fun for you, less “trying to put my whole, best self on the internet prior to the first date.” Date 1 is where you assess if you even like them enough to share more of that sincere part.
Your attractions and preferences are 100% valid. Don’t self-abandon. Go with what feels authentic.
To offer a different perspective: I personally avoid saying anything in online profiles that might come across as privileged, elitist, or ableist (like demanding perfect spelling or grammar). It is possible to kindly tell someone that you don’t think you’re compatible with them without risking putting down their dyslexia, trauma, or inability to afford, attend, or excel in school.
For any sapiosexuals: I know that attraction to intellect is a valid orientation. I don’t want to encourage erasure of that. I think there are ways to be both authentic and considerate of the audience when creating profiles.
Good luck in the dating world!
it should be 'interest in books' instead of taste I think!
Also I find the two truths and a lie so cringe as a concept, it's very pick-me, reeks of just wanting to be asked about these facts in a way that is very off-putting. AS A GENERAL CONCEPT not yours specifically.
You are so cute! I just recently found your stack and i’m in love!!!! Love your content and your posts. So smart and fun to have ppl vote. your profile is gonna be snatched
As someone who set up their own dating app profile for the first time a little over a week ago, I related to this post at a visceral level!
Some general observations from a fellow app newbie:
- we put in approx. 273% more effort into our profiles than the majority of men
- I thought the proliferation of fish / gym bro photos was exaggerated. IT IS NOT.
- the level of chat is, for the most part, underwhelming (either that or I seriously need to revise my expectations)
- don’t hide who you are - YOU ARE A FUCKING CATCH 🥰
I should also caveat that I’m in my early 40s (Elder Millennial here 🙋♀️) so there’s a good chance your experience will be better than mine has been thus far
As a cyclist, I loved pic 2 because it shows more of your personality. Willingness to fall over and eat shit but continue the sport anyway lol. GOOD LUCK!!!
This was so fun! Thanks for sharing this with us! ☺️
this was extremely fun to do and also fun fact I can't burp either!
Hahaha the best content I have seen here so far!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I love every bit of this ty for sharing ✨
I’m actually so obsessed with this. What a fun idea!
This was fun! 🤩😂
I didn't realise it would stop me voting once it'd reached the threshold of prompts, but replace the handwritten letter with the hating pop music prompt for SURE!! It'll weed out more assholes that way :) ALSO I love prompt 5 - it's a super interesting question and people can respond to it in a really authentic way!!
I love this journey for you, Luce. I met my partner on Hinge almost 4 years ago, and we're going super strong. Just be your most authentic self, and don't settle for anything less than genuine.
Quick hot tip: I found going on super long evening dinner / drinks dates super draining, and it meant I was dedicating lots of my time to people I didn't know and weren't right. Plus, adding alcohol into the mix was clouding my judgment quite a bit. I found going on shorter 1-hour (2 max) coffee/walking dates much better, and I always made sure I had something else to go to after, so there was a definite hard stop (and I could debrief, or make up for a shitty date with friends). Meant I had an "out" if it wasn't vibing, but if I felt like I wanted more time with them or was disappointed the date was over, I knew a second date was in order!
GOOD LUCK GIRLIE!!
I second the hot tip! I've been out of the dating app game awhile now but I also found the formal dates so potentially draining (nothing worse than sharing an awkward meal with someone who can't make conversation) especially trying to schedule so walks/coffee are the way to go and you can make up plans after if you need an easy out or if it's great then you continue on to dinner! I also got to the point where I wouldn't chat in app too much to see if we click in person before I'd get too emotionally invested!
And yes you definitely want to just be yourself, if they're not interested it's their loss or you just weren't a good match! And as much of a cliché as it is, when you know you know (I thought that was a load of crap until I met my now fiancé)
Love it all! and I know you write for a job, but the stuff about grammar comes off a lil elitist and that's not your typical vibe so I'd prob stay clear of that, also in the grand scheme of things a kind heart, great snogger, adventure lover etc are probably so much more important! xx
From my personal hinge history (it is long and storied), the best responses and dates I got were when I stopped trying to take hinge too seriously. If you’re dating for fun (which I highly recommend), your profile doesn’t actually need to be your most sincere self. Your most authentic, yes. But you are not a person that takes life too seriously so I vote for the pics and prompts that are more fun for you, less “trying to put my whole, best self on the internet prior to the first date.” Date 1 is where you assess if you even like them enough to share more of that sincere part.
Can we get an update on your profile?
Just wanted to say you’re beautiful 💗💗