RIP Noodle the 'no bones day' pug 🥺
➕ Yeezy come, Yeezy go, & Dwight Schrute was a warning ⚠️
My besties - yesterday was an incredibly spesh day because for the first time in MONTHS all three of us were in the office!!! Getting me, Rubes and Liv all together always feels like it breathes new light into our work (and our lives) and I hope you notice things start to shine a lil brighter (at least until we all go on Christmas break!!)
I also need to say a massive thank you to everyone who kindly upgraded their membership from a free subscription to a paid one yesterday - you’re who we need to keep this free and accessible (and to keep us employed) - and for that we are indebted to you forev!!
As a wee bonus for paying subscribers, I’m going to be sending out our HUGE SYSCA Library/ book list on Wednesday, just in time for your holiday reading - so if you want access to that, you just gotta become a monthly/ annual supporter 💘💘
A quick story about Carma 🚙
You’re never going to BELIEVE what happened yesterday. I don’t REALLY want to spoil it because you’re going to hear all about it in Culture Vulture tomorrow, but ALL day yesterday we were laughing about Liv’s car breaking down on the motorway over the weekend. And I mean ALL day we were laughing. For the record, we have never ever had anything dangerous happen to us/ had breakdowns on the motorway, but if it was going to happen to anyone, it was gonna be Liv.
Fast forward to 4:30pm, and I’ve jumped in my car to drive back from the office, I’m blasting American Teenager by Ethel Cain (literally on repeat) and driving on the motorway home. I feel a ‘bump’ and don’t think much of it, but then I start hearing ‘doof-doof-doof-doof-doof’ and smelling BURNING RUBBER, so I wind down the window to hear/ smell better and I have a fucking FLAT tyre (on further inspection, it was actually RIPPED TO SHREDS). And at this point, all I can think is that I’m going 100kms, I DON’T want to be dealing with this on the motorway, but mostly that this has to be some sick joke and Carma is not my boyfriend.
To cut a long story short I slowed RIGHT down, and found the first exit, which happened to be in one of the busiest parts of town (and it was 5pm at this point) but it was SUPER close to a car parking building so I pull in there and somehow manage to find a park where the right-hand side of my car would open, so we’d have HEAPS of room to change a tyre. I ring Hayden and he comes to the rescue (for the record I know how to change a tyre and have had to do this before but I just didn’t trust myself to do a good enough job of it ok?? And Hayd was 10 minutes away.) Hayden comes, luckily I have all the tools and a BRAND NEW tyre in my car (a big pat on the back for past Luce rn) and within 15 minutes it’s changed and I’m back en route home. After a big thank you (and a McFlurry to show my appreciation) everything was back to normal, but WTF ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?
All of this is to say… karma is definitely real (and we should all know how to use the tyre replacement kit in our cars 💀)
Yeezy come, yeezy go! This studio will remove your Kanye West tattoo for free
Noodle the ‘no bones day’ pug died :(
Dwight Schrute Was A Warning
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On a plane, is it acceptable to play things OUT LOUD?
Yeezy come, yeezy go! This studio will remove your Kanye West tattoo for free
A lot of people get tattoos they regret. You break up with your partner, your friendship falls apart, or your favourite artist becomes incredibly antisemitic and harmful - it happens! And if you’ve experienced the latter, a tattoo removal parlour in London is going to remove people’s Kanye-related tattoos for free! They’ve adopted the slogan ‘Yeezy come, Yeezy go,’ and say they’ll cover the costs of getting a tattoo removed.
“We understand that tattoos can be triggering for some people and not everyone can afford to remove their tattoos,” the owner told the Washington Post.
The store said several people have contacted it in recent weeks to have their Ye tattoos lasered off — a procedure that can cost up to 2,000 pounds (about $2,400).
And this isn’t an isolated thing that this tattoo removal place is doing:
“Naama said it runs a community-led initiative called “second chances” that offers pro-bono laser removal treatment to people who need it most — including those with unwanted gang tattoos, reminders of radiotherapy or the name of an ex-partner. It described its offer to remove Kanye West tattoos as “a natural extension” of that project.”
Love this, and also, top tier marketing imo.
Noodle the ‘no bones day’ pug died :(
I forgot to write about this yesterday, but a tragedy happened over the weekend. Noodle, the 14-year-old pug became famous on TikTok for deciding whether is was a ‘bones day’ or a ‘no bones day,’ died 😟
Here’s what I wrote about it back in October last year:
Is it a ‘bones’ day or a ‘no bones’ day?
If you’re not on Tiktok, or you don’t have a perfectly curated algorithm like I do (💅) then you might not have heard of Noodle the pug and his bone versus no bone days (even the New York Times have heard of it!?!?!) Let me break it down for you.
Noodle, a 13-year-old pug, is Tiktok’s oracle. Every morning his owner holds him up, gives a little dialogue about whether it’s gonna be a ‘bones’ or ‘no bones’ day and then sets him down. If Noodle stands rigidly, it’s a ‘bones day’ and ‘you’ve got to treat yourself today. The Japanese fried chicken you were going to order for lunch? Get the curry to dip it in. All those festive gourds? Buy them. That raise you deserve but haven’t asked for yet? You totally deserve it. Ask for it.”
But, if Noodle simply plops back down onto his bed as if he has no bones (I should clarify that this pug does have bones) then it’s a ‘no bones day’ and we should all just have a bit of a chill one and not try too hard to do too much.
It turns out Noodle meant a hell of a lot to a hell of a lot of people and the news of his death is incredibly sad. We’ll miss you Noodle 🥺
Dwight Schrute Was A Warning
Ok so I linked this piece in ‘Final Thoughts’ yesterday, but I feel like it needs to have its own moment in the newsy because it’s really very good and also I love the office. Essentially, it’s talking about how Dwight - the resident fool in the office - was once ‘easy comedy’, but is now someone whose interests/ behaviours could turn quite sinister (what would happen if Dwight had access to 4chan?)
The sanitized threats are elements of the sitcom’s promise: No matter what might happen on the show, viewers can safely file it away as Fun. This is also part of the alchemy through which Dwight Schrute—a misogynist in the age of Elliot Rodger, a conspiracist in the age of QAnon, a vigilante in the age of Kyle Rittenhouse—can read, still, as a joke.
I don’t really want to ruin the piece for you by trying to paraphrase, because Megan Garber did such a good job of it, so I’ll just put some of my fave bits in here to persuade you to read it:
This is what I meant when I was talking about catharsis. Dwight is shameless; The Office finds ways to shame him all the same. That simple procedure of cause and effect feels remarkable to watch right now, because, in America’s lopsided nonfictions, shamelessness often carries no consequences at all. Donald Trump, America’s own regional manager, flouts the law in plain sight. He lies with such impunity that lie itself, as a diagnosis, becomes banal.
Even comedy carries certain inevitabilities; all the latent violence in Dwight had to erupt, eventually. Late in the series, he realizes his professional dream: He becomes the office’s acting manager. He promptly turns the place into a totalitarian regime in miniature (time cards for salaried workers, forced recitations of the Pledge of Allegiance, a framed portrait of himself installed in the reception area). And then, walking around the crowded bullpen with a loaded gun, Dwight accidentally fires the weapon.
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I think you can vote from anywhere in the world so if you could take one sec to do this for us I’ll love you FOREVER!
Today’s mundane poll:
RM of BTS is embracing the silence (The Atlantic)
Protests in China, & Gaslighting, Explained (The Shit Show Podcast)
What do we do with Chris Brown? (Culture Vulture Podcast)
Mount Semeru: Indonesian volcano spews ash 15km into sky (BBC)
Keke Palmer Reveals She's Pregnant, Expecting First Baby with Boyfriend During 'SNL' Hosting Debut (People)
China Covid: Xi's face-saving exit from his signature policy (BBC)
Hey hey - when I read this in substack, I can't vote in the poll, but if I "view on publication," I can. Just letting you know in case others contact you, desparate to vote wtf. And seriously, wtf - who listens to things out loud on a PLANE? I'd give a *serious* case of side-eye.
If I could vote “no wtf” a thousand times I would bc wtf