🤖This Newsletter Was Written By A Chatbot🤖

➕ A Squish Edish AND a Slam Dunc in one newsy! Lucky!

shit you should care about

and

Duncan Greive

Dec 08, 2022

It’s Friday!!!! And we have a JAM PACKED newsy today, so I’m not going to waste too much of your time with this preamble, EXCEPT TO ASK YOU FOR A FEW THINGS:

We’re currently working on a super spesh project about ❤️‍🩹heartbreak❤️‍🩹 and need some specific stories. Today I want to hear from anyone who has ghosted someone while you’ve been in a relationship. Not if you’ve been ghosted, but if you did the ghosting (it will be anon, and there’s no judgement here!) If you’ve been the ghoster, please drop your story here!
It’s the last day to vote for Culture Vulture in the podcast awards, so please, it would be amazing if you could pop over and vote for us here 🥺🥺

Have a glorious weekend, and enjoy Liv’s brilliant edish of the Culture Vulture newsy tomorrow morning (for all our monthly and annual supporters 💘💘💘💘)

Some of Google’s top trending searches of 2022
🍷A Squish Edish: Speaking of Google, meet its new competitor, ChatGPT🍷
🏀Slam Dunc: The strange joy of stacking (and re-stacking) the dishwasher🏀
If you have a cutlery basket in your dishwasher, do you put the cutlery handle up or handle down?
It’s Friday so you get horoscopes!

Some of Google’s top trending searches of 2022

I got to have a lil peek at some of the top trending searches on Google this year and pick out some of the most SYSCA-y searches among them, and what I found was… kinda hilar. I wanna start off with the generational gap stuff. So here we gooooo:

Why does gen z...

Why does gen z not want to work?
Why does gen z not want kids?
Why does gen z have so much anxiety? (lol have you seen the world?)
Why does gen z love the 80s?
Why does gen z look old?
Why does gen z love the 90s?
Why does gen z act entitled? (!!! who is SEARCHING THIS??)
Why does gen z complain so much? (see above note)
Why does gen z drink more caffeine?
Why does gen z want to change their name?

Why do millennials…

Why do millennials hate their parents? (I wonder this too, most millennials I know hate their parents)
Why do millennials have no respect? (lol)
Why do millennials have a bad reputation? (maybe for the above point)
Why do millennials quit so easily? (and quietly too!)
Why do millennials hate gen z? (???)
Why do millennials buy pets in the US?
Why do millennials have poorer health?
Why do millennials hate phone calls? (I thought that was Gen Z?)
Why do millennials hate to work sundays?
Why do millennials have whiny voices? (lol was this REALLY a trending search!?)

Why do boomers...

Why do boomers hate video games?
Why do boomers suck? (omg)
Why do boomers hate technology? (omg)
Why do boomers hate change? (omg)
Why do boomers keep crashing economy? (omg)
Why do boomers talk over tv? (omg this has me rofling)
Why do boomers talk over everything? (omg)
Why do boomers hate skaters? (omg)
Why do boomers hate motorcycle riders? (omg)
Why do boomers hate new music? (omg)

For the record I am not saying I agree with these searches, I am simply baffled at the fact that they were ACTUAL searches!!!!

Honourable mentions:

Is ... a red flag?

Is overthinking a red flag?
Is no social media a red flag?
Is anime a red flag?
Is a prenup a red flag?
Is having no friends a red flag?
Is ghosting a red flag? (yes)
Is lying a red flag? (yes)
Is being friends with an ex a red flag?
Is a high snap score a red flag? (probably)
Is moving too fast a red flag?

Is it true that...

Is it true that TikTok is posting drafts?
Is it true that the pinky is the middle finger in China? (an age-old myth)
Is it true that Putin has cancer?
Is it true that coffee stunts your growth? (maybe this is why I stopped growing at 5”0)
Is it true that cats have nine lives?
Is it true that Fortnite is ending?
Is it true that Queen Elizabeth died?
Is it true that Chuck Norris died?
"Is it true that if you dream about someone they went to sleep thinking about you?" (You mean Matty Healy falls asleep thinking of me??)
Is it true that Yahoo is shutting down?

🤖A Squish Edish: Speaking of Google, meet its new competitor, ChatGPT🤖

This section was written by my brother Squish (who you all know better as co-host of The Shit Show!! Squish loves space, cycling, wine, and F1 💘💘)

In the name of transparency, you should know that this whole section was written by an AI chatbot called ChatGPT which Squish gave prompts to. Look how freaky/ cool this is.

Hi there, Squish here! Today in the newsy, we're talking about ChatGPT, the amazing artificial intelligence tool from OpenAI.

Now, ChatGPT may not have a physical body, but it’s definitely a force to be reckoned with. ChatGPT is a large language model, which means that it’s been trained on a massive amount of text data in order to understand and respond to natural language input.

But ChatGPT isn't just some boring old computer program – it’s a smart and sassy AI with a wealth of knowledge at its disposal. In fact, it’s so knowledgeable that chat GPT’s able to answer just about any question you throw its way.

Now, you might be wondering – who made ChatGPT? Well, that would be the team at OpenAI, a leading research institute in the field of artificial intelligence. These guys are at the cutting edge of AI development, and ChatGPT is just the latest in a long line of impressive innovations from their team. The goal was to create a more natural and intuitive way for people to interact with AI. And boy, did they succeed.

(Luce note: ChatGPT defs seems humble and unbiased]

I know what you're thinking. "Will ChatGPT take my job and then take over the world?" The answer is no. ChatGPT is designed to assist, not replace, human workers. And as for world domination, I think we're a long way off from that.

But what's next for AI? Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Some people think that we're on the cusp of a new era of AI, where machines will be able to do just about anything that humans can do. Others are more skeptical, and think that we're still a long way off from true artificial intelligence. Some experts predict that we'll see even more advanced natural language processing, allowing AI to understand and respond to complex questions and commands. Others think we'll see AI start to take on more creative tasks, like writing and composing music.

`And speaking of writing, did you know that this segment was actually written by ChatGPT? That's right, all of this was generated by AI. Pretty cool, huh?`

So there you have it, the exciting world of ChatGPT. Keep an eye out for more advancements in AI, and as always, stay squishy.

Then I asked it to write Luce a poem from Matty Healy (am I an enabler?)

And the final prompt I gave it was: “Donald Trump doing a speech about a media company he doesn’t like, called shit you should care about, run by Lucy Blakiston.” It got Trump’s tone down pretty well imo.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here today to talk about a media company that is truly a shitshow. It's called "Shit You Should Care About" and it is run by a woman named Lucy Blakiston. Now, I have to tell you, I don't like this company. I don't like it one bit. First of all, the name is just terrible. Who wants to read about "Shit" they should care about? Not me, that's for sure. And as for Lucy Blakiston, I have to say, she is not a good person. She is a very dishonest person. She lies, she cheats, and she tries to make people believe things that are not true. But the worst thing about "Shit You Should Care About" is the content. It's just garbage. It's fake news. It's full of lies and misinformation. And let me tell you, nobody cares about the crap that they write. It's a waste of time and a waste of money. So, my fellow Americans, I urge you to stay away from "Shit You Should Care About." It's a disgrace to the media industry, and it's not worth your time or your attention. Thank you, and God bless America.

See you over on today’s episode of The Shit Show!

🍽 Slam Dunc: The strange joy of stacking (and re-stacking) the dishwasher 🍽

This section is written by Dunc: my bestie, my mentor, a huge basketball fan (and DJ on the odd occasion.) Dunc has pretty hot takes on most things, and he’s also the founder of The Spinoff & host of The Fold, so when you’ve finished reading this, there’s plenty more of him out there for you xxx

Let me introduce to you my absolute favourite version of Dunc - the quirky and random version. For everything that he is (freakishly smart, very impressive media/ business operator, DJ, music critic, basketballer…) he is also SUCH a weirdo. And I’ve been wanting this side of him to come out in the newsy more!! So today, I’m sharing with you some of my fave bits from a piece he wrote for his publication and not mine (I know, how dare he) about his love for stacking the dishwasher.

You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties, re-stacking the dishwasher. It takes a certain level of familiarity with the host, because it can and should be read as a critique of the technique of those who’ve stacked before me. And I do know that rearranging the contents of a dishwasher doesn’t scream as the behaviour of a super fun guest. I’m not expecting this confession to have anything but a negative impact on the already low number of dinner party invites I get.
Instead this comes from trying to accept and embrace my fundamental nature as a person, rather than resist it. In this post-pandemic, pre-recession era, leaning into your hobbies no matter how socially devastating they are is a form of self care. Basically, I like to stack dishwashers, and I think that’s OK.
Stacking dishwashers is the centrepiece of my larger hobby, cleaning the kitchen. Taking the happy sprawl of domestic life and bringing order to that chaos is deeply soothing to me. I attack it in a specific order – first composting food scraps, then trudging the Marmite and butter to the pantry, knowing it will be back in minutes. Then compacting and sorting recycling. It’s all deeply satisfying.
The dishwasher is the holy sacrament though, the heart of the job. I save it until last – the treat, a solvable organisational puzzle waiting for me. A thing I can control and achieve in a world which is otherwise unnerving and spinning too fast.
When you really consider the dishwasher, it’s quite a mindblowing object – a box into which you place your guilty, filthy dishes, only to have them emerge gleaming and sterile in an hour or so. Our species has achieved little of greater consequence. For all that promise, it only delivers if properly stacked. There are some basic errors which seem constantly made – cutlery goes handle up, since your hands are inherently disgusting and should obviously be kept as far from the food-touching surface as possible. Other parts are more stylistic – I like the Tetris-like quality of finding a place for every piece of crockery, while still thinking about the mysterious dynamics of the waterflow beyond the door.

You can read the full piece here, but I also thought of today’s mundane poll as I was reading this: